Estrangement

SEA (2)

MANY PEOPLE MAKE IDOLS OF THEIR FAMILY.

Funny how so many persons want others to be prefect, when nobody is, especially them.

The phrase “family ” has become shorthand for a focus on a married-couple family with children. The high rate of divorces these days defies the deeply held notion that family relationships can’t be dissolved and suggest that estrangement is not all that uncommon. Assuming that every relationship between a parent and child will last a lifetime is as simplistic as assuming every couple will never split up. Anyway our first priority is to love God

TOO MANY PERSONS AS WELL ARE LOVING, KIND TO FAMILY MEMBERS ONLY DURING THE HOLIDAYS, SUCH AS THANKSGIVING, CHRISTMAS.. It’s the classic image of the holidays: Parents, siblings and their children gather around the family table to feast and catch up on one another’s lives. But it doesn’t always exist that way.

It is also a Myth is that Estrangement Happens Suddenly. It’s usually a long, drawn-out process rather than a single blowout. The relationship tends to erode over time, not overnight. The estrangement tend to occur across years and decades. Many relationships are based on myths, our false expectations from the relationship.

” Some adults choose to stop talking to their parents or returning home for family gatherings. Parents, In laws may disapprove of a person so intensely that he or she is no longer welcome home. All the hurt and betrayals, all the things that accumulate, undermine a person’s sense of original trust so even some spouses choose to stop talking to their partners. Family Estrangement, rupture has become too common.

Estrangement can be defined as one or more relatives intentionally choosing to end contact with another because of an ongoing negative relationship, even a conflict of interests. Often achieving this new distance is hard, but maintaining distance is harder. Some adult children no longer made an effort to fulfill expectations of the daughter-son role, such as the person who after some years with no contact with a father, declined to visit him in the hospital or to attend his funeral. Still others chose to limit conversations with a family member to superficial small talk or reduce the amount of contact. In our culture, there’s a ton of guilt caused by not forgiving your family member, others.

In a survey 8 percent of adults said that they had cut off a family member. And 19 percent of respondents reported that another relative or they themselves were no longer in contact with family. Multiple factors appear to come into play.

The reasons for the rupture fell into different categories. Difference in religious views may cause a religious persecution, rejections or even serious differences in personal goals. A the son or daughter may chose between the spouse and a parent or someone else. Or the adult child was punishing the parent for “perceived wrongdoing” not just a difference in values. Or even additional ongoing stressors like domestic violence, divorce, unemployment, betrayal (keeping secrets or sabotaging them), poor parenting or failing health, symbols of “cumulative disrespect”.

Many family estrangements followed childhoods in which they had already had poor connections with parents who were physically or emotionally unavailable.

Politicians help also to dissolve the family. A politician has one major goal: to get elected and stay elected. Ergo, many politicians appeal to the emotions and ethical choices of mainstream values. The conflict here is between those who are for or against families, or even “family values,”

The too common abusive silent treatment is a common result of an estrangement. This is a clear attempt at ignoring you, even for days or weeks and is a sign of a mental abuse, bullying. This type of response is a common and immoral act by selfish, spoiled, self centered persons. Anything that they now next can do to upset you, to get you guessing about why too, or to make you think that you have done something wrong, have them is their basic approach, motive. We tend talk to those people we love, and reject, ignore, divorce those people we hate. No question about it.

The silent treatment is a definite, bullying, abusive, calculated form of power control over others and also a pre calculated mind game that the abuser falsely plays on their victims .

The WRONGFULLY STILL Unrepentant bully’s problem is that he or she is one of those bad persons who only feels truly alive when voicing hostility and contempt for his “enemies.” Without that, he or she starts gasping for air. It’s his nature.. self-destructive” .. So clearly these immoral Bully, Basher of others, Abusers of others have a disappointed, deflated ego, negative self worth, most likely related to past personal unresolved guilt, as a result of that the bully, he or she, tries falsely to build their ego up by bashing, hating others, by being an antagonists against his proclaimed enemies, which too often also is most of the people now , for he or she no longer trust anyone.

Abuse is a common very typical approach, fact in the character build up of Bullies, Bashers, but their approach is futile, the subsequent feeling of self worth dissipates too quickly, are actually replaced by guilt, and his ego, self worth likely needs to be recharged with new hate.. and is replaced with more and larger hatred of the others. Persons who use this approach tend to escalate next to other forms of abuses also to get their way. I have seen this type of wrong behavior too often. These bad people do need to find a better way for their anger management.

John 13: 34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

The Verbal abuse is a also a kind of battering which doesn’t leave evidence like physical abuse does. However, it can be just as painful, and recovery can take much longer. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Often, for the verbally abused woman (man), there is no witness to her reality and no one to understand her experiences. Friends and family continue to see her ex, the abuser, as a really good guy and, certainly, he agrees with them. The verbal abuser, while maintaining his charm with others, always takes his abuse behind closed doors. It is a means of holding power over his wife( husband) /partner.. Many women and some men leave a marriage and come back into the singles’ world with the diminished self-esteem that comes from a verbally abusive relationship. The fact that many of these women (men) have never even realized that they were being abused, makes it easy for them to enter another abusive relationship.

A verbal abuser is an insecure person and immature person who is looking for power and control over another.In order to help you recognize abuse, remember that all forms of verbal abuse are methods of manipulating you for the purpose of establishing power over you.

I know that this forced submission emphasis, demands are a false attempts by these overly perverse, ambitious, crooked persons, bad pastors, unfaithful spouses, bad relatives, and bad religious persons now included too, for these persons and mere persons who do want now by such means to attempt to self prosper, to grow richer, to advance themselves over others still have have no good concerns for me. They are slave drivers. Slavery was abolished a long time ago too.

The following are some of the forms of verbal abuse you CAN recognize.

Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.

Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.

Discounting–a putdown of you or something you hold dear.

Blocking and diverting–this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.

Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner’s intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.

Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.

Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a “so-called joke” is mean rather than funny.

Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.

Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.

Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some “weakness of mind.”

Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to “blow up,” to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.

Threatening: Physical threats and sexual threats aside, verbal threats are an effort at manipulation. For example, a threat to leave, stay out all night, or take you home immediately is a manipulation for power. The threat of “pending disaster” is designed to shatter the partner’s serenity as well as her boundaries.

If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, “I don’t want to hear it, get out of my face” or “Woman you don’t have the brains“, “B” You shouldn’t have said that to me“.

Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks, persons, civil and public servants, politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,

Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.

God himself accepts no abuses by anyone, not even by pastors…

(Jer 9:5 KJV) And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity. 6 Thine habitation is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know me, saith the LORD.

(Jer 9:8 KJV) Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.

(James 4:7 KJV) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Any person cannot still fight with you of you leave his or her presences, even forever.. and there is still a good life after a failed marriage now too.

Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

THERE IS A VERY BASIC COMMON MISCONCEPTION ON HOW TO DEAL WITH ANY PERCEIVED EVEN INJUSTICES, ABUSES, ANYWHERE, IN THE CHURCH AS WELL, BESIDES IMMEDIATELY CALLING THE LOCAL POLICE.. being quiet is not good enough,

THE NEW TESTAMENT IS CLEAR HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.. COMMUNICATION – AND YOU DON’T EVEN FIRST POST IT ALL ON THE NET.

First you merely ask the guilty, bad persons personally to repent twice, the first time without a witness, the second time with witnesses THAT you have asked them to repent.. and proof, substantiation is NOT required.. after you have done that you can next post it openly on the net, tell all the others. Next God is fully free to deal with the unrepentant guilty offenders and believe me he will.. I have now been doing so for decades too..

I OFTEN SIMPLY SEND AN EMAIL, I PUT IT INTO CLEARLY WRITING, SO THE GUILTY PARTY CANNOT SAY I DID NOT ASK HIM OR HER TO REPENT. WHETHER THEY ACKNOWLEDGE IT OR NOT TO GOD DOES NOT MATTER.

It is absurd for any person to even imply there is no sin, or that God now, next punishes no one here on earth, or after for any of their sins, or to say that that they the sinners are merely punishing themselves, God does have higher laws too, the laws he has designed with negative consequences for their violations undeniably as well. The negative Consequences are not by chance, or unrelated to God. Even the new Testament still says people reap here on earth what they have sowed and God punishes people for their unrepentant sins. (Gal 6:7 KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 ) For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

Jer 17:5 Thus says the Lord: Cursed [with great evil] is the strong man who trusts in {and} relies on frail man, making weak [human] flesh his arm, and whose mind {and} heart turn aside from the Lord. 6 For he shall be like a shrub {or} a person naked and destitute in the desert; and he shall not see any good come, but shall dwell in the parched places in the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. 7 [Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, {and} relies on the Lord, and whose hope {and} confidence the Lord is. 8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see {and} fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious {and} full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit. 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse {and} corrupt and severely, mortally sick! Who can know it [perceive, understand, be acquainted with his own heart and mind]?

Jer 17:10 I the Lord search the mind, I try the heart, even to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

Anyone doubt this, look at God’s Punishment of the Apostle Paul specially for his past abuse of the Christians now too. I know from observing others that one’s abusing a Christian can lead to one’s early death. I have found the best way not to get abused anymore is to rightfully not to associate with the abuser anymore, after exposing their abuse to them and others, till they really do repent of it, and a clearly Biblical approach according to the Bible Book of Corinthians now too.

I put my trust in God and not in man.. We submit ourselves solely to God, to Jesus and the Holy Spirit.. who guides us, leads us into all truth. All friendship, relationship, submission not just in marriages in real life now too is reciprocal, and unenforced. Jesus Christ is still the head of the Church, Churches!

Let me be very clear about that Jesus has set me free, now I am a slave to no man but to Jesus Christ himself, alone. I serve no man, especially any of the clearly foolish, perverted ones, and I take orders from no man, I do not have to do what they desire or try to command me to do at any time too. No matter if they still do wrongfully think otherwise too. I am still only God’s slave and not any man’s.
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Is 2:22 Cease to trust in [weak, frail, and dying] man, whose breath is in his nostrils [for so short a time]; in what sense can he be counted as having intrinsic worth?

(Eccl 7:9 KJV) Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
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(Jonah 4:4 KJV) Then said the LORD, Doest thou well to be angry?
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(Eph 4:26 KJV) Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
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(Mal 2:16 KJV) For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

(1 John 2:11 KJV) But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.
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(1 John 3:15 KJV) Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.
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Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Matthew 24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake.

John 15:18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.

25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

John 17:14 I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

“Honor your father and mother,” Christ commands, and “love” your neighbor. But leave your parents, siblings and spouse to follow me – even if you must “hate” them in order to DO SO. Do not even stop, Jesus tells one follower, to bury your own father.

In one scene recounted in the gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus denies that members of his own immediate family deserve a special audience with him, declaring that his real family is the community of believers.

Psalms 70: 2 Let them be ashamed and confounded that seek after my soul: let them be turned backward, and put to confusion, that desire my hurt.

Hebrews 1:9 Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

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Teens wounded in brawl Toronto & GTA News

 
GUNS KILL3
 
What started as reports of an afternoon baseball bat brawl between two groups of teens ended with two boys in hospital — one shot, the other stabbed — yesterday afternoon.  A fight involving eight to 15 teens broke out near George S. Henry Academy on Graydon Hall Dr., near Don Mills and York Mills Rds., at about 3:30 p.m., Toronto Police Const. Tony Vella said.  During the brawl, one teen was stabbed in the back and another was shot in the back.  The injured teens, believed to be about 16, were from opposing sides, Vella said.  After the groups scattered, emergency crews found the stabbing victim nearby with a “minor” wound and the shooting victim on a park bench down the street, where he had collapsed with what was thought to be a life-threatening injury, Vella said.  He was rushed to hospital, where he was listed in “stable” condition last night, Vella said.  Though the incident happened a half hour after classes ended at the nearby high school, it was unknown whether the teens were students there.  “We have a responsibility to educate today’s teens that violence is not the answer,” Vella said. “It does not help the situation. It just fuels the situation.  “You have someone shot and stabbed, then that person just wants to get (revenge),” he said. “Eventually, someone is killed.”  Three separate scenes were taped off by police along Graydon Hall, which is dotted with five highrise apartment buildings.  “I’m used to it,” a 12-year-old girl said of violence in the area since her family moved onto the street five years ago. “I hate when this happens.”  “We are very afraid, very surprised,” said a Pakistani man who moved to the area five months ago.  “We thought this city was very peaceful,” his wife added.  “It’s been happening everywhere,” one woman said of the violence, with her one-year-old daughter in tow. “It is what it is … It is unfortunate.”  http://www.torontosun.com/news/torontoandgta/2009/11/12/11717641-sun.html

ETHNIC, RELIGIOUS GANG FIGHTS AFTER SCHOOL IS NOTHING NEW IN CANADA, I SAW THE SAME THING IN MONTREAL DURING MY PUBLIC SCHOOL DAYS TOO. But I do have to say parents and the recession, economy  firstly have set the tone, the environment for the fights. Both Working parents have no time to look after the kids, and both parents often fighting amongst each other over acquiring more money, paying the bills does not help much.. and it does affect the children’s school grades negatively now too.. but blaming the fights on the schools or the lack of policing is a false cop out.

 
 
 

Saskatchewan school locked down after firearm stolen from car outside building Wed Nov 11, 7:41 PM  CANDO, Sask. – Police are investigating the theft of a rifle from a veteran’s vehicle that resulted in a school lockdown in rural Saskatchewan.

 

 

do see also https://postedat.wordpress.com/2009/11/10/albertan-hate-crimes-awareness-day/

 

Abused?

 These links below  are provided for possible reflection, but I do not agree with all of the contents ..

 Articles About Church Abuse

Articles about spiritual abuse, abuse in the church, and hypocrisy… divorced by your church?

Happy Promise Keeper Public Rebuke & Record

Running the Race & Fighting the Fight

Making a Molehill Out of a Mountain

Touch Not God’s Anointed

A Look at Why Abuse Victims Stop Attending Church

Evicted From the Church

Being Reconciled to the Church After Hurt

When the Church Assaults the Sanctity of Life

What the Bible Says About Abusive Pastoral Authority

How Much Do I Love You?

Abuse in the Church Brings Judgment of Sodom

Abuse in the Church Brings Judgment to Church Leaders

Floating in Pots of Sick Irony

And the Plot Thickens…

Should You Speak Out?

Why NOT Speak Out?

Are We Ruining God’s Image By Speaking Out?

All That is Necessary

Why Abuse MUST Be Reported

Does God Need Us to Protect His Reputation?

The Limits of Forgiveness

The Christian Personna — articles about how Christians are perceived by everyone else.

God’s Call for Justice and Right Judgment

Abuse Allegations in Christian Homes for Troubled Teens

Former Hephzibah House Students Continue to Raise Awareness

Mrs. Williams of Hephzibah House Writes About Women

Ron Williams of Hephzibah House Writes About Discipline

Raising Awareness About Abusive “Homes” for Kids

Government Regulation of Churches

When Christianity is a Cult

The Church and Political Power

The Church, Homosexuality, Sodom & Gomorrah

Teachings of Abuse in the Church

ARTICLES ABOUT SPIRITUAL ABUSE

Abuse in the Christian Home

This set of articles is a great place to start.
Victim or Survivor Series

These articles can be read in any order.

The Word – Power of the Tongue, Spirit of Murder, & Separating from Abuse, series

What Does the Bible Really Say? — Wives Submit

What Does the Bible Really Say? — Don’t Put Asunder

Child Abuse Definitions

Why Do Children NOT Tell About Abuse?

How Can I Honor an Abusive Parent?

The Issue at the Heart of Domestic Violence

Blessing for the Ultimate Sacrifice in an Abusive Marriage

What If I Think My Spouse is Abusive? Question/Answer

Verbal Abuse and How to Recognize It

Agreeing with Curses

Has Economic Downturn Caused Increase in Domestic Violence?

The Dangers of Defending Yourself

Is It Godly to Deny Our Feelings in Abuse?

The Last Curse

The Breastplate of Righteousness

Is It Rape When Your Husband Does It?

Does Rape Feel Good?

The “Not Rape” Epidemic

Is a Lap Dance at a Strip Club Adultery?

Should I Get a Divorce?

Domestic Violence and Stockholm Syndrome

Is Domestic Abuse Just a Satanic Deception?

Relationship Warning Signs

Vision Forum, Bill Gothard, Patriarchy and Multigenerational Faithfulness

The Neatnik and the “Relaxed” Housekeeper

More Reasons it Matters

“I Told My Secret, and The Church…”

Should You Speak Out?

Why NOT Speak Out?

Are We Ruining God’s Image By Speaking Out?

All That is Necessary

The Limits of Forgiveness

Rick Warren and Saddleback Church on Domestic Violence

Transcript of Saddleback Church Teaching on Abuse

Transcript of Saddleback Church Teaching on Divorce

Transcript of Saddleback Church Teaching on “Miserable Marriage”

Theology of an Abusive Marriage

Is “Fireproof” Helpful for Abusive Marriages?

Why Does it Matter?

Why Pastors Won’t Stand Against Abuse

Pastoral Denial: What it Says and Why it Matters

Abuse in the Church? Be Ye Warmed and Filled!

How Much Do I Love You?

Why a Short Sentence for Offenders Cannot Be “Enough”

Abuse in the Church Brings Judgment to Church Leaders

Abuse in the Church Brings Judgment of Sodom

Floating in Pots of Sick Irony

Why Abuse MUST Be Reported

Clergy Responses to Domestic Violence

What Would Your Church Do?

A Look at Why Abuse Victims Stop Attending Church

Evicted From the Church

When the Church Assaults the Sanctity of Life

A Christian Counselor Writes About Abuse in Christian Marriages

A True Story About Abuse in a Christian Home

I Wish I Had Known to Call the Police

How Abuse Affects a Child, Part I

“He Taught Me How to Fly – How Abuse Affects a Child, Part 2

No Bruises = No Abuse?

Discipline: When is it Abuse?

Is Abuse Caused by Demon Possession?

God Answers Prayer in Abusive Marriages

Verbal Rage in Marriage and Parenting

CDC Links Domestic Violence to Health Problems

A Preacher’s View of Domestic Violence

IT IS TIME TO BEGIN SPEAKING: The Church and Domestic Violence

The Devastation of Denial

Does God Want Me to Stay in an Abusive Marriage?

Fact-ional Christianese Marriage Menders

Marital Abuse & the Bible

Do We Think Enough of Marriage to Respond to Domestic Abuse?

One Man’s Story of Being An Abuser

Respect and Equality in Marriage

THE Biblical Grounds for Divorce

What the Bible Says About Divorce, Series

Sticks & Stones: Why Verbal Abuse Kills, Series

Is Dr. James Dobson’s Advice to Abuse Victims Dangerous, Series

What Happens When Someone is Sexually Assaulted, Series

What Happens When the Church Helps

Basics

The Hidden Lock in the Door to Life’s Answers

In the Beginning — God Created Male and Female

Characteristics of Repentance

http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2009/01/02/divorce-and-remarriage-in-the-christian-church/

 

Negative behavior

  • Verbal abuse is always unacceptable too. So are the Bullies now too.
  • Young Offenders, Sibling rivalry, War
  • How to deal with the Negative circumstances in your life..
  • The too common abusive silent treatment
  • Coping with Personal unresolved Stress
  • Marriage breakdown
  • My comments

    I have seen a whole city of proud, abusive pastors, who felt that they could not be touched, till I had arrived at God’s request..

    Once publically exposed next even the government acted quickly to pull their tax free status, stopped their right to issue donations reciepts and the door of the worst church now was closed forever.. all of the pastors were laid off too..

    Public exposure and examplary prosecution of the unrepentant guilty persons serves everyone’s best interest..

    “Those whom I love I chasten and rebuke as well”

    God does not want you to remain in an abusive marriage… and God will make the door at the right time for you to leave it as well.. trust Him.

    ONE OF THE MOST COMMON, POPULAR TOPICS, SEARCHES ON THE INTERNET is can a Christian next get divorced and remarried, and the simple answer is no! but wait do not stop reading yet.. if you are married, living to a demon, a control freak, a liar, a lazy good for nothing abusive person then please now do immediately get out of the marriage, do get an immediate  separation.. and this not the kind of advice you would expect from a preacher of peace  and love, but I am telling you all  this for our own good, and  you can thank me later.. and maybe next the still good for nothing bum, lousy spouse, he or  she will wake up as  to what she is really like and they may try to get help to change herself, himself.. but meanwhile don’t feel guilty about the peace you now have in your life.. By the way make sure first you are not the creepy, a good for nothing spouse yourself otherwise by your actions you will be doing your own spouse a great, great  service. 

    One of the thing that bothers me about allowing someone to walk over me, to verbally abuse me, is where do I draw the line next, put a stop to it.. so I tend to stop it as soon as I see it instead…not a door mat to walk over.. one of the best ways is to have nothing to do with the abuser anymore..

    God does not want you to remain in an abusive marriage… nor in an abusive church, or with an abusive pastor as well..

    In the first week I was in a new church I immediately saw that the pastor himself was an abusive, control freak pastor and I did not remain there too long..

    >>The church is .. evicting … members who don’t “walk the line.”

    The 3 major most common reasons, but not valid often it seems,  for Church eviction in Canada that I have noted are
    -refusal to submit to the pastor’s demands
    – if you have suddenly became poor, are out of work, or refuse to support the tithe.
    – if you ask someone to repent of their sins

    Jer. 23:14 ..as Sodom, and the inhabitants thereof as Gomorrah.

    Cities that were literally destroyed next..

    I must add that when the unrepentant church leaders, church members resort to physical assaults, put their hands on the abused persons that next death often shortly follows upon these still even unrepentant persons… for God himself does not accept physical, verbal, human rights abuses lightly

    I have seen it often, unexpected, sudden death of these guilty persons in the church

    Many people here relatedly forget the terrible price that even Apostle Paul still paid after he was saved for his previous physical abuse of Christians.. he was buffeted..suffered..

    Well the proper Biblical step is first for the Christian person to ask the offender to repent..

    The second proper step if they do not repent is to have 2 witness that you have asked them to repent again.. but you do not need any witness to support your allegations..

    The third proper step is to inform the rest of body of Christ their unrepentant sin

    Now God is free to act and may ask that you bring it to the proper authorities

    I have noted to someone recently that the New testament and Old Testament do not allow a wife to divorce her husband, only the male can divorce, but she can separate.

    and i had also noted that the new testament specifically indicates that a wife can influence her husband by her good behavior.. the same is not said about the husband..

    Now  the guilt of being married again after a divorce, is normal for God still does hate divorce… 90 percent of persons who remarry after a divorce are likley to divorce again too.. likley they were also a part of the problem of course. And just cause some people stay married does not  mean they were, are more spiritual now too..

    In generally in the more   liberal society of Canada both the wife and the children tend to have much more freedom, rights, make their own decisions,  over many other countries and as a result the culture shock is a very real problem for some new immigrant spouses where the husband was used to being obeyed, and being the sole head of the home  thus  it’s not altogether uncommon for some of the new immigrant  home situations to become  unacceptably violent.

     
    Do see also http://thechristianwallpapers.wordpress.com/

    Sarah Palin gets loads of free media coverage again

     

    Palin denies accepting $150K in designer clothes Associated Press  Friday, October 24th, 2008 

    “Sarah Palin says much of the fuss over the $150,000 worth of designer clothes, hairstyling and accessories the Republican Party bought her is being generated by her gender.She tells the Chicago Tribune a double standard exists. She also says the clothes aren’t worth $150,000 and were bought for the Republican National Convention.Palin says, in fact, most of the clothes have never left the campaign plane and that the whole story isn’t being told.John McCain was asked about the purchases several times on Thursday. Time and again he maintained they were bought because Palin needed clothes, and that they’d be donated to charity after the election.”  “The clothes are a complete NON-ISSUE. Without the clothes, Palin would have been ridiculed for dressing like a country bumpkin, with the clothes, she is ridiculed for spending a lot of money.” More mere hypocristy clearly by the Democrats“It is so good to be back,” Palin said, “A lot in common between Alaska and the Hoosier state. And in fact getting off the plane tonight, and getting out of the vehicle, chilly enough just like it is at home, gotta put a jacket on, you know, in this crisp – and it’s my own jacket from Wasilla, Alaska!”

    But the vast US media coverage over her clothes has been much appreciated, it again, continually keeps Sarah Palin in the media spotlight and with the voters. Obama himself would love to have that much free media coverage.. maybe he should get some donated clothes next?
     
     

    Sarah Palin says clothing budget row is sexist
    guardian.co.uk – 2 hours ago
    Republican vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin says the clothing debate shows double standards in the election campaign. Photograph: AP vice-presidential nominee herself blamed the row on sexism.
    Hockey mom says $150K clothing ‘frugal’ PRESS TV
    The case for Sarah Palin’s wardrobe Toronto Star
    Sydney Morning Herald – Telegraph.co.uk – The Associated Press – The Age
    all 1,574 news articles »

     

    SARAH PALIN has testified for the first time about her   firing of an Alaska police chief, amid false objections of the cost of her fashion makeover to the Republican campaign. Mrs Palin and her husband Todd yesterday gave sworn depositions about the Alaska firing, which a legislative inquiry said last month was within the law although some would say Mrs Palin had supposedly broken some ethics rules by pushing for her former brother-in-law to be sacked from the state police force. More bad cops should be sacked world wide too.
     
    In an interview with NBC News   Mrs Palin also said she is not thinking about her political future after the election. “As for furtherance in a political career, I’m not even thinking about that, I’m thinking between now and November 4th what it is that we have to do in reaching out to the electorate, letting them know who John McCain is, what we represent and how electing John McCain is the right decision for the future of America,” she said. She still has a goal of being a winner and not a loser. Despite all the endorsements and money, Obama’s lead has really not changed significantly over the last few months. And that lead is not big enough to offset either the last-minute effect of valid Republican counter attacks and the actual votes. These two effects will  still likley  lead to John McCain getting elected. 
          
       
    In her first policy speech of the presidential campaign, Gov. Sarah Palin also vowed Friday that a McCain administration would allow all special-needs students the choice of attending private schools at public expense, a potentially costly proposal.Palin, the Republican nominee for vice president, also vowed that she and Sen. John McCain would provide public schools the federal money that was promised when the law covering students with special needs was passed in 1975, a pledge aimed to address the top concern of many school districts and one that has been made by many other politicians but never fulfilled.  Palin described the challenge she faced when she found out her son Trig would be born with Down syndrome, but says it has given her a newfound focus to advocate for special needs children. “When I learned that Trig would have special needs, honestly, I had to prepare my heart,” Palin said. “I did a lot of praying for that understanding, and strength, and to see purpose. And what’s been confirmed in me is every child has something to contribute to the world if we give them that chance.” Palin is concerned about children with disabilities, but she is also turning all this into an effective political fire. Today, for she laso has  accused Obama of planning to increase taxes on trust funds set up for children with disabilities.”Many families with special needs children or dependent adults, they’re concerned about in this race our opponent in this election who plans to raise taxes on precisely these kinds of financial arrangements,” Palin warned.               
                 
    “One of the most wonderful experiences in this campaign has been to see all the families of children with special needs who come out to rallies and events just like this,” Palin said today in Pittsburgh. “We have a bond there. We know that children with special needs inspire a special love.”You bring your sons and daughters with you, because you are proud of them, as I am of my son,” Palin continued. “My little fella sleeps during most of these rallies, even when they get pretty rowdy. He would be amazed to know how many folks come out to see him instead of me.” “Too often, even in our own day, children with special needs have been set apart and excluded,” said Palin, whose infant son Trig has Down syndrome. “Too often, state and federal laws add to their challenges, instead of removing barriers and opening new paths of opportunity. Too often, they are made to feel that there is no place for them in the life of our country, that they don’t count or have nothing to contribute. This attitude is a grave disservice to these beautiful children, to their families, and to our country — and I will work to change it.”

    ” In her speech, Palin said the federal government could finance the new investment by taking some of $18 billion it spends each year on earmarks, specific projects that are designated by members of Congress. “That’s more than the shortfall to fully fund the IDEA,” she said. “And where does a lot of that earmark money end up? It goes to projects having little or nothing to do with the public good — things like fruit fly research in Paris, France, or a public policy center named for the guy who got the earmark. In our administration, we’re going to reform and refocus. We’re going to get our federal priorities straight, and fulfill our country’s commitment to give every child opportunity and hope in life.””

    No matter what I write about, Sarah Palin  is still the best seller on my sites too.

    and many people now what to know what is happening to her now? after the election

    Love your enemy… but also try to know your enemy

    and those who do not put their money into their pockets they declared  WAR against them..

    (Micah 3:5 KJV)  Thus saith the LORD concerning the prophets that make my people err, that bite with their teeth, and cry, Peace; and he that putteth not into their mouths, they even prepare war against him.

    (Mat 10:36 KJV)  And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.

    One of the greatest Christian author’s in the world, Author of Pilgrim’s Progress, the english book second to the Bible its seems, John Bunyan the preacher,   his own wife did not go along with him.. or for certainty the Pilgrim’s own wife he wrote about..

    (Prov 22:6 KJV)  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it

    As a mature , honest, decent adult senior, I like to speak from my real insights, experiences and not as a pretender on the net.
     
     People with low self-esteem tend to live in a closed system that is hard to break. Because they have difficulty admitting negatives, either about themselves or their behavior, it is hard to reach them. It is especially difficult for someone with low self-esteem who is defensive or in denial to admit that they are afraid.  http://www.getnewvisions.com/se/03crse_symptoms.html

    Now why is it some persons do like to control slander others, gossip about them, and  try to dominate, bully, bash or influence others?

    Is  it really just cause they have a poor self image, and as a result crave attention upon, for themselves or what? Or do  they feel that bashing others makes themselves feel temporally better, but that quickly dissipates anyway  and they have to do so more bashing?

    Or is just cause they  do not know any better and perform  all these immoral acts ? They come from real troubled homes, bad upbringing and they are searching for love, acceptance  the wrong way.. even because their parents now have done a really bad job in bringing them up, in raising them properly to face life, hold a job, hold a marriage etc?

    At what point are do they no longer have an excuse, have reached an age of personal  accountably for their own actions and cannot any longer blame others, their parents, past  teachers, administrators, society in general  and now they have  to be personally fully accountable rather for their actions?

     IT IS NOW MORE  RARE BUT I DO ALSO NOW STILL GET BULLIED BY RELIGIOUS BULLIES, ABUSERS TOO..  
     
    The WRONGFULLY STILL Unrepentant  bully’s problem is that he or she is one of those bad persons  who only feels truly alive when voicing hostility and contempt for his “enemies.” Without that, he or she starts gasping for air. It’s his nature.. self-destructive” ..  clearly these immoral  Bully, Basher of others, Abusers of others has a disappointed, deflated ego, negative self worth,  most likely related to past unresolved guilt, as a result  of  that   the bully, he or she, tries falsely to   build  their ego up by bashing, hating others, by being an antagonists against  his proclaimed enemies, which too often also  is most people , for  he or she no longer trust anyone, and Abusers this is a common very typical approach, fact in the character build up of Bullies, Bashers, but their approach is futile, the subsequent feeling of self worth dissipates too quickly, are actually replaced by guilt,  and his ego, self worth likely needs to be recharged with new hate.. and is replaced with more and larger hatred of the others.  I have seen this type of wrong behavior not just in bad managers, bad politicians, bad persons, but  in alcoholics, and most often in Albertan rednecks ,but also  in religious   fundamentals evangelicals who promote hated towards Pentecostal Christians as well, and  now as well as the crooked pastor wrongfully  fighting for control over others. Public exposure and prosecution of these bad persons here too services everyone’s best interest.

    SEE ALSO

    http://pbulow.tripod.com/  
    http://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/hidden-agendas

    https://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/21/the-pretender-imposter-wolf-in-sheep-clothing/   
    https://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/07/control-freaks/   
    http://www.socyberty.com/Advice/Are-You-a-Control-Freak.101788   
    https://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/wrongful-accusations    
    http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/verbal-abuse-is-always-unacceptable-too/  
    https://postedat.wordpress.com/2008/08/16/healing-todd-bentley-florda-lakeland-revival/  
    http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/08/12/more-about-control-freaks/
    http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/08/15/deliberate-unforgiveness /

    http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/08/19/adultery/

    WOE TO the bad shepherds

     (Prov 20:6 KJV)  Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find?
     
    Too many persons are so ready to proclaim their own goodness.. when in fact they tend to be ordinary sinners, who often do bad  still too. I had learned decades ago that if you truly want to know what a pastor is like , next work with him for one day and you will be shocked at the new revelations very likely too… they too often are now not the saints, idols, they are claimed to be..  It is always better to trust in God directly than to hero worship a mere man too. I have often noticed that many women still worship some pastors, not just their wife, wrongfully for their sex appeal too.
      
    Jer 23:1 WOE TO the shepherds (the civil, religious leaders) who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasturing! says the Lord. Jer 23:2 Therefore thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, concerning the shepherds who care for {and} feed My people: You have scattered My flock and driven them away and have not visited {and} attended to them; behold, I will visit {and} attend to you for the evil of your doings, says the Lord. Jer 23:3 And I will gather the remnant of My flock out of all the countries to which I have driven them and will bring them again to their folds {and} pastures; and they will be fruitful and multiply. Jer 23:4 And I will set up shepherds over them who will feed them. And they will fear no more nor be dismayed, neither will any be missing {or} lost, says the Lord. 
     
    It still has always been shocking to me when someone had personally said to me the pastor has abused me.. he was unkind, unloving, he even lied.. for that is the last place I have expected to find an abusive person(s), a pastor of a Church.
     
    I was really surprised that most evangelical, pentecostal  pastors are control freaks too.. who even meddle into homes now too.. other person’s  lives.. even cause too often they are sex maniacs
     
    THE MAN KING OF THE HOUSE, THE WOMAN HIS DUTIFUL SUBJECT. The man is the king of the  household, and the wife is only the prime minister. There is no confusion or overlapping of authority. The will of the husband is law. He has the  only   place of honor . The arrangements of the house, the company entertained, and the service employed, all have respect to his wishes and to his convenience. The wife conducts the affairs of state for the king. She has her household and, more than  her personal allowance, and she renders a strict account of stewardship.   The wife’s personal expenditures are less, much less than the husband’s. The will of the husband is the  undisputed law; as to the wife her person, her property, her children under his sole control even to the present time are the rights secured to the husband under present English law. Like it or not but these laws were based on the Bible, which states   (Eph 5:23 KJV) ” For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body”
     
    and most Evangelical pastors DO need to recognize, preach  AND PRACTICE this still too.
     
     
    Jer 23:10 For the land is full of adulterers (forsakers of God, Israel’s true Husband). Because of the curse [of God upon it] the land mourns, the pastures of the wilderness are dried up. They [both false prophets and people] rush into wickedness; {and} their course is evil, their might is not right.
    Jer 23:11 For both [false] prophet and priest are ungodly {and} profane; even in My house have I found their wickedness, says the Lord.
    Jer 23:12 Therefore their way will be to them like slippery paths in the dark; they will be driven on and fall into them. For I will bring evil upon them in the year of their punishment, says the Lord.
    Jer 23:13 And I have seen folly in the prophets of Samaria: they prophesied by Baal and caused My people Israel to err {and} go astray.
    Jer 23:14 I have seen also in the prophets of Jerusalem a horrible thing: they commit adultery and walk in lies; they encourage {and} strengthen the hands of evildoers, so that none returns from his wickedness. They have all of them become to Me like Sodom, and her inhabitants like Gomorrah.
    Jer 23:15 Therefore thus says the Lord of hosts concerning the prophets: Behold, I will feed them with [the bitterness of] wormwood and make them drink the [poisonous] water of gall, for from the [false] prophets of Jerusalem profaneness {and} ungodliness have gone forth into all the land.
    Jer 23:16 Thus says the Lord of hosts: Do not listen to the words of the [false] prophets who prophesy to you. They teach you vanity (emptiness, falsity, and futility) {and} fill you with vain hopes; they speak a vision of their own minds and not from the mouth of the Lord.
    Jer 23:17 They are continually saying to those who despise Me {and} the word of the Lord, The Lord has said: You shall have peace; and they say to everyone who walks after the stubbornness of his own mind {and} heart, No evil shall come upon you.
    Jer 23:18 For who among them has stood in the council of the Lord, that he should perceive and hear His word? Who has marked His word [noticing and observing and giving attention to it] and has [actually] heard it?
    Jer 23:19 Behold, the tempest of the Lord has gone forth in wrath, a whirling tempest; it shall whirl {and} burst upon the heads of the wicked.
    Jer 23:20 The anger of the Lord shall not turn back until He has executed {and} accomplished the thoughts {and} intents of His mind {and} heart. In the latter days you shall consider {and} understand it perfectly.
    Jer 23:21 I did not send these [false] prophets, yet they ran; I did not speak to them, yet they prophesied.
    Jer 23:22 But if they had stood in My council, then they would have caused My people to hear My words, then they would have turned them [My people] from their evil way and from the evil of their doings.
    Jer 23:23 Am I a God at hand, says the Lord, and not a God afar off?
    Jer 23:24 Can anyone hide himself in secret places so that I cannot see him? says the Lord. Do not I fill heaven and earth? says the Lord.
    Jer 23:25 I have heard what the prophets have said who prophesy lies in My name, saying, I have dreamed, I have dreamed [visions on my bed at night].
    Jer 23:26 [How long shall this state of things continue?] How long yet shall it be in the minds of the prophets who prophesy falsehood, even the prophets of the deceit of their own hearts,
    Jer 23:27 Who think that they can cause My people to forget My name by their dreams which every man tells to his neighbor, just as their fathers forgot My name because of Baal?
    Jer 23:28 The prophet who has a dream, let him tell his dream; but he who has My word, let him speak My word faithfully. What has straw in common with wheat [for nourishment]? says the Lord.
    Jer 23:29 Is not My word like fire [that consumes all that cannot endure the test]? says the Lord, and like a hammer that breaks in pieces the rock [of most stubborn resistance]?
    Jer 23:30 Therefore behold, I am against the [false] prophets, says the Lord, [I am even now descending upon them with punishment, these prophets] who steal My words from one another [imitating the phrases of the true prophets].
    Jer 23:31 Behold, I am against the prophets, says the Lord, who use their [own deceitful] tongues and say, Thus says the Lord.
    Jer 23:32 Behold, I am against those who prophesy lying dreams, says the Lord, and tell them and cause My people to err {and} go astray by their lies and by their vain boasting {and} recklessness–when I did not send them or command them; nor do they profit these people at all, says the Lord.
    Jer 23:33 And when these people, or a prophet or a priest, ask you, What is the burden of the Lord [the thing to be lifted up now]? then you shall say to them, What burden [indeed]! [You are the burden!] And I will disburden Myself of you {and} I will cast you off, says the Lord.
    Jer 23:34 And as for the prophet, the priest, or [any of these] the people, whoever [in mockery calls the word of the Lord a burden and] says, The burden of the Lord, I will even visit in wrath {and} punish that man and his house.
     
    (Jer 34:17 KJV)  Therefore thus saith the LORD; Ye have not hearkened unto me, in proclaiming liberty, every one to his brother, and every man to his neighbour: behold, I proclaim a liberty for you, saith the LORD, to the sword, to the pestilence, and to the famine; and I will make you to be removed into all the kingdoms of the earth.
     
     God Became Our Sanctuary ..
     
    (Psa 91:1 KJV) He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
    (Psa 91:2 KJV) I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
    (Psa 91:3 KJV) Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
    (Psa 91:4 KJV) He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
    (Psa 91:5 KJV) Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
    (Psa 91:6 KJV) Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.
    (Psa 91:7 KJV) A thousand shall fall at thy side, and ten thousand at thy right hand; but it shall not come nigh thee.
    (Psa 91:8 KJV) Only with thine eyes shalt thou behold and see the reward of the wicked.
    (Psa 91:9 KJV) Because thou hast made the LORD, which is my refuge, even the most High, thy habitation;
    (Psa 91:10 KJV) There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling.
    (Psa 91:11 KJV) For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.
    (Psa 91:12 KJV) They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone.
    (Psa 91:13 KJV) Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet.
    (Psa 91:14 KJV) Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name.
    (Psa 91:15 KJV) He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him.
    (Psa 91:16 KJV) With long life will I satisfy him, and show him my salvation.