Know your enemy, resist the devil

Did you know that sibling rivalry, abuse is one of the most common forms of family violence? Siblings will use physical violence because they have learned it from their parents, a bad mother or a bad father, or other adults. In fact, one study found that 76% of the children who were repeatedly abused by their parents also abused their siblings.

Everyone needs to set boundaries on what is acceptable behavior. No verbal abuses, no bullying, no lying, no foul languages, no hitting or other violence should be allowed. Another step parents can take to prevent abuse between family is to model their own respectful behavior in your family. Children learn how to interact with others by observing them.

Do a check-up on your family and others this week:
Do you treat your children. others respectfully?
Do your children treat each other respectfully?
Are your children hitting each other when conflicts occur?
Do you have Home, office, internet rules in place for acceptable behavior?

You may need to call a family meeting to work out problem-solving strategies before rough housing turns to abuse, unacceptable violence

http://unlforfamilies.unl.edu/

Info on Sibling rivalry, young offenders, gangs, mafia, war

(Psalm 133:1 KJV) Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

Sibling rivalry is a type of sinful, selfish competition or animosity among brothers and sisters, blood-related or not.. the sibling bond is often complicated and is influenced by factors such as parental treatment, birth order, personality, and people and experiences outside the family. Sibling rivalry is particularly intense when children are very close in age and of the same gender, or where one child is intellectually gifted, or one child has received or attains a bigger inheritance, earning, position, status in life. Adolescents fight for the same reasons younger children fight, Fighting with siblings as a way to get attention, power may increase in adolescence. Events even such as a strained marriage may drive them seriously apart. Sibling Rivalry in the Bible – sample cases: Cain and Abel, Esau and Jacob, and Joseph and his brothers., Leah and Rachel, and today’s counterpart is the conflicts between the Arabs and the Jews, gangs, Mafia

(Prov 15:1 KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Sibling rivalry, war is the jealousy, competition and fighting between the unloving and/or unloved brothers and sisters firstly, and with others next too. It is a concern for almost all parents of two or more kids. Problems often start right after the birth of the second child. Sibling rivalry usually continues throughout childhood and even adulthood, it can be very embarrassing, frustrating and stressful to parents. There some things parents can do to help their young kids get along better and work through conflicts in positive ways and help you keep the peace at your house.

Sibling rivalry, war is as old as the children of Adam and Eve and is too often recorded now as a sin in the Bible as well that has negative consequences on the persons involved and even others.

The real sad part is that many adults play also this false game still too.. Conquer and destroy!

Sibling rivalry can also be caused by proximity in age. Research suggests that siblings that are within two years’ age of one another tend to have more sibling rivalry than other siblings. Ultimately, sibling rivalry is often caused not only by by blocked goals but by poor personal communication skills, bad or extreme values, just like almost any other sorts of adult conflicts and wars

There are many factors that contribute to sibling rivalry:

-Past and present neglect of the siblings by the parents will top it all.. there are overarching sorts of factors and events that can be, ultimately, the root causes of any sibling rivalry. Knowing what these important factors and events are can help you to not only understand the causes of sibling rivalry, but to deal with sibling rivalry more effectively when it does occur. Some of the most common causes of sibling rivalry tends to be jealousy or selfishness.
-Each child, person is mostly competing to define who they are as an individual. As they discover who they are, they try to find their own talents, activities, and interests. They want to show that they are separate from their siblings.
-Rejected Children, Adults too feel they are getting unequal amounts of your attention, discipline, and responsiveness.
-Children often may feel their relationship with their parents is threatened by the arrival of a new baby.
-A children’s and an Adult’s developmental stages affect how well they can share your attention and get along with one another.
-Children and adults who are hungry, bored or tired, nervous, stressed out are more likely to start fights.
– Too many Children, adults too do not know positive ways to get attention from their brother or sister, so they pick fights.
– Family dynamics play a serious role here as well when one of the parent neglect one of their children, or shows a false favoring, partiality,. We are reminded this happened in the biblical account of Joseph and his brothers due to his new coat of many colors,
– Children, adults will fight more with each other in families where there is no set bounders, understanding that their fighting is not an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.
– All Families that don’t share enjoyable times together will probably have more family conflict next exasperated by a jealous immoral, insecure, poor self esteem spouse(s) of the siblings now too
– Unresolved Stress, poor health in the parent’s lives will often decrease the amount of still need attention parents give the children and thus increase the sibling rivalry.
– Stress in the children’s lives will next shorten their fuses, and create more conflict, cause significant home, community and even health problems as well

So how the good and bad parents do now still treat their kids, children and how they do now react to conflict will make a big difference in how well siblings get along.

The degree of existence of sibling rivalry, young offenders, gangs tends to show how good of a parent, manager, administrator now you really were, are.

“as many as 53 out of every 100 children abuse a brother or sister, higher than the percentage of adults who abuse their children or their spouse. What some kids do to their brother or sister inside the family would be called assault outside the family. As parents, we may be tempted to ignore fighting and quarrelling between children. We may view these activities as a normal part of growing up. We say, “Kids will be kids” or “They’ll grow out of it.” However, thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and adults. Children often abuse a brother or sister, usually younger than themselves, to gain power and control. One explanation for this is that the abusive child (generally with a poor self esteem) feels powerless, neglected and insecure. He or she may feel strong only in relation to a sibling being powerless. The feeling of power children experience when they mistreat a brother or sister often reinforces their decision to repeat the abuse ” http://www.sasian.org/papers/rivabuse.htm

What about Bullying?

When any verbal remarks becomes hurtful, unkind to others, and too constant, it now has crossed the line of acceptance, decency and it does needs to stop, to be corrected. Bullying is intentional tormenting in physical, verbal, or psychological ways. It can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, threats, and mocking to extorting money and one’s possessions. Some persons bully by shunning others and spreading false rumors about them. Others use email, chat rooms, instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to taunt others or try hurt their feelings. It’s important to take bullying seriously for effects can be serious and affect ones’ sense of self-worth and future relationships. In severe cases, bullying has contributed to tragedies, such as school shootings.

Why Do some persons Bully? They bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they bully because they need a victim to try to falsely, selfishly, sinfully make themselves feel more important, popular, or in control. Often they do bully, torment others because that’s the way they’ve been treated in the past too. They even may think their behavior is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts, or calls others names.

Take it seriously also if you even hear that the bullying will get worse if the bully finds out that your child has told others. Many states have bullying laws and policies. if you have serious concerns about your child’s safety, you may need to contact legal authorities. Do not hesitate to expose it too. Verbal abuse unstopped, unchecked unrestrained often next turns to physical abuse, wrongful violence.

Why Do They even Hate Each Other? In this society, too many people have the false expectation that they will love others and thus next will get along well with everyone, even in in their family, Church, community, work. They always expect to feel positive toward their parents, brothers, sisters, spouse and children. This is unrealistic Most people, themselves however, have at least some times when they don’t feel very loving toward others. Some persons are even born really bad, or have become really bad persons now too.

Hate often can be are close, both emotionally and physically, and thus even very intense. Because they are closer at home, communities, church too, the related members have a greater power than anyone else to make other members feel angry, sad, confused — and loving. This is as true for children and adolescents as it is for adults.

(Mat 18:1 KJV) At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?
2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,
3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.
6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
8 Wherefore if thy hand or thy foot offend thee, cut them off, and cast them from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life halt or maimed, rather than having two hands or two feet to be cast into everlasting fire.
9 And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
10 Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.
11 For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.

Forced submissions by adults, particularly in the church, or elsewhere, can often rightfully be taken as bullying, enslavement and is still unacceptable too.

Why do we hear of the Russian Mafia, and the Asian Gangs now more increasing, because their parents have neglected them while they were busy trying to get rich, richer.

(James 4:1 KJV) From whence come wars and fightings among you? come they not hence, even of your lusts that war in your members?
2 Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.
3 Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
4 Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
5 Do ye think that the scripture saith in vain, The spirit that dwelleth in us lusteth to envy?
6 But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness.
10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.
11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?
13 Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
16 But now ye rejoice in your boastings: all such rejoicing is evil.
17 Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.
5:1 Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.
2 Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are motheaten.
3 Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days.

(Prov 22:6 KJV) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it

.- Train your children firstly in the right way.. neglect any of them and everyone next will pay the negative price..
– Tell them that being self centered, selfish, concerned only about their own needs, desires is still an unacceptable sin, negative approach.
– Don’t play favorites or refuse to forgive, do not take sides as well. Your children need to learn that you will do your best to meet each of their unique needs.
– Never compare your children.
– Don’t typecast. Let each child be who they are. Don’t try to pigeonhole or label them
– Set your kids up to cooperate rather than compete.
– Teach your kids positive ways to get attention from each other.
– Don’t yell or lecture. It really won’t help at all..
– Listen—really listen—to how your children feel about what’s going on in the family. and next also act upon it positively. They seek the parent’s help first often, They may not be so demanding if they know you at least care how they feel. “When parents falsely unwisely crash, jump into sibling spats, they often protect one child (usually the younger sibling) against the other (usually the older one). This escalates the conflict, because the older child resents the younger, and the younger feels that they can get away with more since the parent is “on their side.” ”
– Celebrate your children’s differences, positive aspects and not mainly their negatives.
– Let each child know they are still unique and special— accept them, you love and care for them, just for whom they are.
– Encourage win-win negotiations, where each side gains something.
– If you are constantly angry at your kids, no wonder they are angry at each other! Anger feeds on itself. Learn to manage your anger, so you can teach your children how to manage theirs.
– learn, Teach conflict resolution skills during calm times.
– Personally Model good conflict resolution skills for your kids.
– Try to Involve your children in setting ground rules.
– Enforced Ground rules, with clear and consistent consequences for breaking them, can help prevent many squabbles.

Siblings often do fight for a number of reasons:
-They fight because they want a parent’s or other person’s attention, especially where the parent has only so much time, attention and patience to give.
-They fight because they are selfish, jealous: “He got a new bike. I didn’t. They must love him more than they love me.”
-They even fight over ordinary teasing which is a way of testing the effects of behavior and words on another person: “He called me…” “But she called me…first.”
-They fight because they are growing up in a competitive, aggressive, self centered, worldly, dog eat dog, society that falsely teaches them that to get it, to win is to be better than to be the loser. “I saw it first.” “I beat you to the water.”

Lessons about jealousy, competition, sharing and kindness are difficult to learn, and, indeed, even many adults still still haven’t learned them. Too many adolescent may not recognize, admit still their needs or may be too embarrassed to express them verbally, so their ongoing fighting with siblings is a way to get their needs, personal attention which often next actually increase in adolescence life.

A Parent’s Checklist

As a parent, do you:
-Set aside some time to be alone with each child?
-Recognize that each child is different?
-Make sure your adolescents realize they are each unique and have a special set of strengths?
-Praise adolescents for being who they are and not just for what they can do?
-Avoid initiating competition among children?
-Realize adolescents and younger children need to be given the right also to decide not to share at least some of the time?
-Be sure older children are not usually forced to give in to younger ones because “he’s little” or “she doesn’t know better?”
-Talk positively to the adolescents about their fighting?
-Falsely encourage, promote the sibling fighting?

So the still mostly useless Albertan Prime Minister Stephen Harper and federal Justice Minister Rob Nicholson MP want to get tough on the young offenders, instead of on the parents, show to us all how ignorantly they are and very poor parents now too.. They clearly themselves firstly need to be educated.

Resolving the Conflicts requires still anger management too and :

Admitting, recognizing the stress issue.
Effectively dealing with the issue in a positive manner… For the matters left on their own to be resolved tend to get worse and not better

The instinctive, natural way it seems is merely to immediacy, feel anger, to express our anger and to to respond immediately aggressively as well.. not much self control obvious.. as opposed to a planed, deliberate, calculated, thought our approach.

When you are angry, you probably feel:

muscle tension
accelerated heartbeat
a “knot” or “butterflies” in your stomach
changes in your breathing
trembling
goose bumps
flushed in the face

You can reduce the rush of adrenaline that’s responsible for your heart beating faster, your voice sounding louder, and your fists clenching if you:

Take a few slow, deep breaths and concentrate on your breathing.
Imagine yourself at a better place, the beach, by a lake, or anywhere that makes you feel calm and peaceful.
Try other thoughts or actions that have helped you relax in the past.

“Calm down.”
“I don’t need to prove myself.”
“I’m not going to let him/her get to me.”

This often Aggressive Anger is a response to our perceived threats; it inspires powerful, often visible feelings and behaviors. But we can’t physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us; laws, social norms, and for most of us our own common sense places valid limits on how far our anger can take us.

Stop. Consider the consequences. Think before you act. Try to find positive or neutral explanations for what that person did that provoked you. Learn to recognize what sets you off and how anger feels to you. Learn to think through the benefits of controlling your anger and the consequences of losing control. Control your own behavior, don’t let anger control you.

Identify the problem, problem behavior. Isolate it from the emotions associated with it and evaluate it. How often does it happen and how long can it go on? What is the purpose of the behavior? If it tears down another person, it is abusive. If you suspect abuse, it’s important to act quickly to stop it. Do not hesitate to bring it into the open, to expose it next to all for what it really is, unacceptable abuse. Get enough fact and feeling information to assess the problem accurately. Restate the problem to make sure you understand it clearly. Figure out alternative solutions to the problem.

We face a choice to deal with their angry feelings such as expressing our anger, suppressing our outrage, and submissiveness, calming Ourselves, controlling our outward behavior, but also controlling our internal responses, taking steps to lower our heart rate, calm yourself down, and letting the emotional feelings subside.

Assertiveness is expressing our anger in love ,without hurting others. Being assertive here doesn’t mean being pushy or demanding; it means being respectful of yourself and others.

Anger turned inward may cause next hypertension, high blood pressure, a self pity complex, or depression.

” Unexpressed specific anger can create other problems. It can lead to pathological expressions of anger, such as passive-aggressive behavior (getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than confronting them head-on) or a personality that seems perpetually cynical and hostile. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments haven’t learned how to constructively express their anger. Not surprisingly, they aren’t likely to have many successful relationships. ”

Anger management reducing both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You can’t always get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions, and express, act in a positive manner, for the good of all.

It’s best to find out what it is that triggers your anger, and then to develop strategies to deal with and to keep those triggers from tipping you over the edge.

Remind yourself that merely getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won’t make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse). You need to focus on the problem and deal with it effectively;

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic, Such as ” you’re just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Normal people tend expect : fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness, congenital agreements. The first best attitude to bring to such a problem situation, then, is not to focus on solely now finding the solution, but rather firstly on how you handle and face the problem.

Set ground rules to prevent emotional abuse, and stick to them. For example, make it clear you will not put up with name-calling, teasing, belittling, intimidating, provoking, cheating, lying, stealing, bullying, physical abuses, intimidations and you will firmly deal with it too. Living with bad, fighting adolescent siblings is not pleasant. Clearly show all of the adolescents the cost of fighting is higher than the falsely expected reward.

Next tell of the trouble makers, bad adolescents that while it’s normal to have disagreements, the constant fighting upsets you and you value peace at home. You also can can say they will no longer be the judge and jury over the siblings’, adolescents disputes, wars and you merely will not stand for it, put up with it and stand by the resolution with firm action!

Timing: use a controlled, well thought out response to Control the event on your own time, and don’t merely be hastily suckered into facing, dealing with it unprepared. Also now do Give yourself a regular break from the conflicts, stressful situations. Make sure always too you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the day, the place that you know are particularly stressful. One’s Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you feel angry at the set “trap” you seem again to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap. Sometimes it’s our unavoidable immediate surroundings that give us continual, ongoing, unavoidable cause for irritation and fury. If need be do next Remove yourself permanently from the environment, for your own good health firstly . One does not have to put with with these mostly false conflicts forever.

Set clear consequences for broken rules. What will happen if they break the rules? For example, one husband told his wife he would no longer spoil his wife, indulge in all of her false whims, desires, abuses, but next would not merely give her two alternative choices beforehand, one would lead to a reward, one whole lead to negative personal consequences for her. Choice one – resolve the conflicts peacefully, amiably. Or if she continued to cause false problems, fighting he would merely fire her, terminate the relationship, divorce the marriage. He next was forced to take the second alternative.

“I agree, that this is a horrible situation and not a marriage – get out before you are seriously hurt. I also don’t believe in an eye for an eye and certainly not hurting anyone. I never believe that violence is the answer to anything. Notwithstanding she shouldn’t ever abuse you, verbally or physically. She is not stable at all, forget on trying next to figure out why as well, as she needs professional help. No one needs to stay in an abusive relationship. This woman is really terrible and with no self control . If you don’t know how to set and enforce your boundaries, please do get help here. You do deserve much better than an abusing wife with mental issues. I also suspect that she is well aware of her actions. She is conniving and manipulating you too – and why would you even consider crawling back to her? She is treating you this way because you have wrongfully enabled her to do so. .I too not saying that it is your fault, but I am saying that there are true bad persons, about 30 percent of all persons, now still in the world who can sense other people’s weakness from a mile way and they try to capitalize on that vulnerability through abuse. How does she deserve you? Why in the first place do you even think you deserve to be treated this way? Surely you know by now that she really does does not make a good wife? You really are essentially rewarding her shocking behavior by putting up with her bad acts. You truly can’t change her behavior but you can now change yours. NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE LIKE, HOW SINCERE YOU ARE TOO, ONE never does not deserve to have to live like this, to have to put up with living with an emotional/physical and/or alcoholic abuser, bad spouse, even a clear control freak too. You first do need to keep yourself safe now, next from this woman and when you do leave do not go back. You really can’t force, make your wife stop her bad acts, so you need to decide whether you want to try to unlikely salvage the marital relationship at all. If you do, you need to tell her that you will only stay in the marriage is if she gets treatment for her abusive nature . And also only if she never does it again. That means no abuse at all, none – the emotional as well as the physical abuse. The sole likley serious option now is just to call it quits. There’s nothing wrong with this option. Not everyone deserves another chance. She may not, does . If your wife doesn’t accept that she has a problem and isn’t willing to accept help, you do have to get a separation and also now put everything out in the open, even in courts, so you can actually get your life back.. She is merely reaping what she has sowed. Leave her and let her sort herself out. It is unlikely she ever will too. Protect yourself, look after yourself anyway. After finding myself in a similar situation, I left. Since then, things have never been better. I met my ex wife 6 months later, and she immediately said to me, I udenerstand that your are happier living without me, and I replied that no thanks to her that was true. 30 years later it is still true too.”

” In today’s society it is assumed that men are the physical abusers of women and in cases of emotional and/or physical abuse of men it is seen that the man has instigated this so the woman has simply retaliated to abuse of the man and the man is still held accountable. Unfortunately, as with so many relationship or child issues the woman is more readily believed and the man more readily blamed. I’m a woman in my 40’s and have been through the family court system over the past 10 years and I have seen a lot of what happens in these cases from both the man and the woman’s point of view. ” men and women are equal sinners.”

“I’d like to wrongfully say “beat the sh*t out of her”, but fortunately you wouldn’t get away with it. Instead, do everyone a good service, just toss her out, she’s an abusive parasite and doesn’t deserve any husband. ”

“One father reported that every time a fight started, he would say to his adolescents, “You’re fighting. I’m leaving.” And then he would go out to work in the yard or take a drive or run an errand — but he simply walked away from the fighting. A mother used a similar tactic. When the fighting began, she said, “Call me when it’s over.” Then she went to her bedroom, slamming the door to emphasize her point. Another parent made his adolescents leave the house when they began fighting. ”

In each of these cases, the parents, adolescents demonstrated that their ongoing fighting would not get their attention and they would not get involved in the fight.

Do not hesitate to Remove yourself from the problem behavioral person, or remove the root cause of the problem child , adult

The angered people tend to jump to-and act on-conclusions, and some of those conclusions can be very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering. Listen, too, to what is underlying cause of your anger. It’s natural to get defensive when you’re criticized, but don’t fight back. Instead, listen to what’s underlying the words: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved. It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don’t let your anger-or a partner’s-let a discussion spin out of control. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one.

Instead of doing nothing, which postpones the inevitable anyway. Seek, get sound advice, the valid opinion of others too. Make a plan, and check your progress along the way. Resolve to give it your best, but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away. If you can approach the conflicts, fight it with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get solved right away.

Remember, you can’t eliminate anger-and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could. In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you anger; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can’t change that; but you can change the way you let such events affect you. Controlling effectively your angry responses can keep them from making you even more unhappy in the long run.

Negative Results of unchecked Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse : Thousands of adult survivors of sibling abuse can readily tell of the far-reaching negative effects that such unchecked behavior has had on them as children and even as adults. For instance, one person, reflecting back on their relationship with a brother wrote: “I believed EVERYTHING my brother told me. Even if it was lies to make himself look better. Children and adults often still do wrongfully abuse a brother or sister to falsely try to gain power and control.

Hey it is just classical psychology that If you notice the following warning signs in a person over a period of time, the potential for increased unacceptable physical violence by them next also exists:

a history of aggressive, abnormal, offensive behavior
serious drug or alcohol abuse
gang membership or strong desire to be accepted by the gang, to be in a gang
threatening others regularly
trouble controlling feelings like anger
withdrawal from good friends and from the normal, usual, acceptable activities
visibly feeling rejected or alone
having been a victim of bullying, or now being a bully themselves
poor school or job performance
history of discipline problems or frequent run-ins with authority
feeling constantly disrespected
failing to acknowledge the feelings rights of others
or failing to acknowledge the abuse of others
access to or fascination with weapons, especially guns

When you recognize these unacceptable future increased violence warning signs in someone else deal with it. Hoping that someone else will deal with the situation is still false way out.

Be safe. Don’t spend time alone with people who show any of these warning signs and remove the person from the situation that’s setting them off.

The most important thing to remember is don’t go it alone. Expose the matter to others as well.

Even verbal abuse left unchecked, unrestrained next tends to escalate and leads to real, unacceptable physical abuses.

11 Tips for Coping with Personal unresolved Stress

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

The prayers of Saint Francis of Assisi

1. First Concentrate on the present. You cannot change the past, but you can work on having a better future
Don’t needlessly, continually dwell on the past or worry about a future you cannot control. Have a positive and not a a negative, defeatist attitude now as well

2. Consider, Admit and deal with your past, present problems one at a time. First personally define, Write down those things that Bother you, do Number them, and do decide what you can and cannot do abut them too . Prioritize as well Decide which ones are still important and which ones are no longer important to deal with.
If there are lots of items you want to change, start by focusing on one or two of the most bothersome or dangerous ones. Don’t try to make too many changes all at once. Don’t merely lump your complaints, problems together, it can make them seem overwhelming.

Remember
Anger and aggression are different. Anger is a temporary emotional state caused by frustration; while aggression is often an attempt to hurt a person or to destroy property.
Anger and aggression do not have to be dirty words. We must be careful to tell the difference between behavior that indicates emotional problems and behavior that is normal. Convert aggression to assertiveness, actions done in love as well.

3. Take positive action. Do review all of your options, such as writing a letter of complaint to the right party, in detail reporting the matter so you do not have to have it repeated on you.
Make sure you have realistic expectations, goals, approaches too. Once you’ve decided what you want to do about a problem, act consistently quickly , firmly and follow up on it too.

4. Don’t merely complain about your problems . Continually complaining is wasteful, and seriously for a stat don’t expect only others alone to resolve them, deal with them yourself .
Talk things over with your family and good friends. Look for the positive, possible, practical solutions.

5. Occupy yourself and your mind. Determine what you can and cannot do, how much time you should spend on it, also do go on with your life
Social interaction, alternative activities can help during a time of stress by not continually focusing on the problem

6. Don’t just blame the other people for your problems and their failure at Resolving them – be an active part of the solution yourself if need be
Frustrated hostility will accomplish nothing and can only make and feel worse.

7. Exercise every day.
Go for a walk and concentrate on your surroundings instead of just on your problems.

8. Maintain a daily routine. even if you are unemployed, retired, but do not get into a continual rut as well
I have often helped many a poor, depressed person, not by any medications, but by simply by changing their daily normal activity routine, and next by taking them for a drive into the country, or taking them to see a good film, a comedy, or Giving them some good movies to watch, or by me taking them to a fine food restaurant, or by me taking them for a long walk through unfamiliar surroundings.. and it worked.. it actually next had broke them out of their long term depression.

Can’t change positively the person? try first changing their surroundings, environment temporarily?
A familiar pattern of daily activates can decrease stress and increase your sense of security. Be willing to make a change once a while as well.

9. Avoid taking your problems to bed. Try to forgive and forget.
Clear your mind of the days thoughts so you can get a good night sleep.

10. Talk to your adequate health care provider, helper. Pick and choose, for remember there are still good and bad professionals.
She/he can help you find the right agency or person(s) to assist you in coping with stress.

With God on your side you will always be a winner

St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer in praise of God
You are holy, Lord, the only God,
and Your deeds are wonderful.
You are strong.
You are great.
You are the Most High.
You are Almighty.
You, Holy Father are King of heaven and earth.
You are Three and One, Lord God, all Good.
You are Good, all Good, supreme Good,
Lord God, living and true.
You are love. You are wisdom.
You are humility. You are endurance.
You are rest. You are peace.
You are joy and gladness.
You are justice and moderation.
You are all our riches, and You suffice for us.
You are beauty.
You are gentleness.
You are our protector.
You are our guardian and defender.
You are our courage. You are our haven and our hope.
You are our faith, our great consolation.
You are our eternal life, Great and Wonderful Lord,
God Almighty, Merciful Saviour.

Get educated now, and know more on how to effectively deal with abuses, Bullies and abusive persons today.

So the still mostly useless Albertan Prime Minister Stephen Harper and federal Justice Minister Rob Nicholson MP want to get tough on the young offenders, instead of on the parents, show to us all how ignorantly they are and very poor parents now too.. They clearly themselves firstly need to be educated.

If you are being verbally, physically, sexually abused do not hesitate to bring the matter into the open, tell your colleagues, friends and neighbors about it, your church pastors, elders too, congregation members, ands even do call the police. Public exposure and prosecution of the guilty persons always serves everyone’s best interests.

More links- do see also
http://stayinhealth.wordpress.com  
http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com  
http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/sibriv.htm  

http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com  
http://thefocusonthefamily.wordpress.com/2008/07/03/verbal-abuse-is-always-unacceptable-too/ 
 
http://www.troubledwith.com/  
http://www.troubledwith.com/AbuseandAddiction/PhysicalVerbalAbuse.cfm

Is your home, work or church a safe place for victims of emotional abuse? Make it so.

 

Control freaks

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Do you yourself know when you are to be submissive to others and when you are to lead? How do you know this? Can you tell the difference between the voice of God and that of the devil now too? Most People still cannot.. sad.
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There is a very dangerous person that  we should be aware of, and even not associate with,   one who is also mainly  the devil’s follower, one  that is the self centered, sarcastic,  withdrawn silhouette control freak.  .
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Like the Apostle Judas, and they tend to do they dirty  work in the background, not transparently to all, do have a hidden bad agenda .The Last Supper specifically portrays the reaction given by each apostle when Judas is wearing green and blue and is in shadow,  looking rather withdrawn . An Apostate. Apostasy in  Christianity refers to the rejection of Christianity by someone who formerly was a Christian.;The term apostasy comes from the Greek word apostasia (“ἀποστασία”) meaning defection, departure, revolt or rebellion. It has been described as “a willful falling away from, or rebellion against Jesus Christ,  Christianity. Apostasy is the rejection of the teachings of Jesus Christ by one who has been a Christian… describing those who have  voluntarily and consciously abandoned next their  original faith in the God of  the covenant, who manifests himself most completely in Jesus Christ. “Apostasy is the antonym of conversion; it is deconversion.”
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And it seems 50 percent of once loudly professing Christians will next become Apostates, sell Jesus cause they  falsely  did not get what they wanted, even wealth,  power, fame, recognition, more sex…  http://kambulow.blogspot.ca/2013/06/are-you-not-falsely-angry.html
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– With·drawn   v. Past participle of withdraw. adj. 1. Not readily approached; remote. 2. a. Not friendly or sociable; aloof. b. Emotionally .
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– Control freak It is a serious personality disorder and is a derogatory term for a person who attempts to dictate how everything around them is to be done. A draining person.  People who feel out of control . Manipulators  The control freaks are people who are falsely terrified of any failure. Perfectionists. They can not trust that anyone to do a better job than they will. a false belief that  that if they  can change another person’s undesirable behavior, then you both will be happier or more fulfilled.  The Person  who if not in control of many aspects even in other’s lives will go ballistic. This ensues telling, demanding,and a control freak likes to claim the successes of others as their own. These people obsessively try to dictate how you’re supposed to be and feel. They have an opinion about everything; disagree at your peril. Control freaks rarely know that they are one. They believe that they are helping people with their “constructive criticism” or taking over a project because “no one else will do it right.” They spout, dictate unsolicited advice and use anger often to put you in your place. You cannot tell them what to do.; .Express to them your right to be heard, and also to do things your way too.;
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Some clear signs of the Control freaks  for your -diagnosing pleasure.

1 They try to “help them” change  by pointing it out, usually over and over.

2 They try  micromanage others to make them fit their often unrealistic expectations. They can’t accept others  imperfection they  don’t think anyone else should either.

3 They continually  judge others’ behavior as right or wrong and without love, passive-aggressively withhold attention, contact  until they fall in line with their demands,  expectations. Sitting in silent judgment  an  other form of control.

4 They offer “constructive criticism” as a veiled attempt to advance their own agenda.

5   Instead of just being themselves , they attempt to deceive others by projection  of their false   impression of   them selves

6 Fear mongers, threateners   and manipulators.

7 Know it all.

8 They  intervene on behalf of others by trying to explain or dismiss their negative behaviors to others.

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“Arguing with the control freak seldom works. Why? Because they are an expert at justifying to themselves and everyone else why they are right. They are world authorities in being “right”. They have spent whole lifetimes practicing “being right”. So trying to out-argue them can be nigh on impossible.”
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Simply  walk away – let them try rather to control others
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Many even professing Christian persons see themselves as teachers, facilitators, coordinators, leaders, when in fact they are still just dictators, bullies, some even immoral agressive jungle fighters, control freaks who need to repent.. 
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Not surprisingly many prideful people try to take the place of God in my life too, AND these imposters claim even that they have been chosen, designated by God to command over me, THAT  I am required into forced submission to their whims, desires , commands. But funny God now himself has not revealed those facts as well to me BUT  only to them. I put my trust in God and not in man.. Me I am still always rightfully actively resistant to all of the abusers, bullies, liars, even in the Church, GOVERNMENTS, CORPORATIONS, POLICE and their oppressions. etc., still too, for all it takes for evil to prosper is for good people to do nothing about it. So should we all!
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AND WHEN YOU DO NOT DO WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO DO THESE SAME RATHER LITTLE BAD CHILDREN INSULT YOU, SLANDER YOU, DIVORCE YOU, OSTRACIZE YOU, BAD MOUTH YOU.
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If you are a   Control freak you are not only still an unrealistic, immature, immoral person  but you  may have a serious personality disorder. 
 
You likley are a menace, plus a real danger to yourself and to others, for you are an abuser, a human rights violator too.
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I can readily recognize bad  control freaks on the net cause they want to give me advice how to write my post, what to write, in fact they want to rather  write it for me.. rather fools is what they really are.. I freely can speak for myself, write for myself now too. You readily find these freaks  also in churches, homes, etc., demonic enslavers is what they rather are too  now. Not much point in being nice to them for often they are too dumb to understand who they really are too often too… and they rarely change.
Having clearly now an exaggerated emphasis of your own self importance, being tottally in  control is part of a cluster of behaviors that can be labeled as compulsive and generally characterized by perfectionism, orderliness, workaholic tendencies, an inability to make commitments or to trust others and a real cover-up for your fear of having your own flaws exposed. You are exposed now still too.. 
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All  these type of Persons who  believe they can protect themselves by staying in control of every aspect of their lives, or of others, including their relationships are idiots, fools, grossly in error, in need of professional help, good pastoral counseling.
I rightfully  believe in the right of free speech, mine, yours, everyone else’s and not solely yours.
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Mostly all of you have had to contend with control freaks and they are found everywhere, in Corporations, at  home, in churches too..
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These are those people who insist on having their way in all interactions with you. They wish to set the agenda and decide what it is you will do and when you will do it. You know who they are – they have a driving need to run the show and call the shots. Lurking within the fabric of the conversation is the clear threat that if you do not accede to their needs and demands, they will be unhappy.. and they will delete your post…
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While in reality God has made us all equal, and GAVE US ALL MOUTHS WE CAN SPEAK WITH, EARS TO LISTEN, it seems some people, in churches, on the net, elsewhere, they  still wrongfully do think they are better than others, or want to dominate others, do try to give orders to others, do try to make rules for others  that they too often themselves do not follow too, they are in fact still bullies..  and now why is that? and who do they think they are now that they are so special? Mere fools. They mostly have a hidden agenda, they are falsely seeking fame, power, control, a position of prestige, for they are immoral slave drivers trying to walk on the back of others.
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I have already mentioned it to you rightfully and often too  before that I often get phonecall,s  letters from some persons telling me what I can and cannot write on their sites, rather them wanting to write all of my posts too it seems.
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So many disturbed persons are now disturbed by the contents of my posts, so these  ostriches try to find a false excuse not to deal with it, and try to instead falsely delete it. The control freaks  emotional stakes includes their own identity and sense of well-being. Being in control gives them the temporary illusion and sense of calmness, a false feeling of superiority. and what fools they are when in reality they are so far from it now too.
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Control freaks or Bullies, abusers, wrongfully do cause  others stress so they can maintain a false sense of order.
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These people themselves firstly are still riddled mostly with anxiety, fear, insecurity, and anger. They’re very critical of themselves their lover and their friends, but underneath all that still too that supposedly perfect outfit and great body is a mountain of real unhappiness, unresolved guilt, disturbed person who   need professional help. Help them to get it.. inform their superiors.
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Certainly, it’s natural to want to be in control of your life. But when you have to be in control of the people around you as well, well you have gone crazy, become a fool, a demonic controlled person who can’t rest until you get your way and you are headed down a very bumpy ride, it is easier to try to control yourself, and impossible to control all the others.(1 Cor 9:27 KJV)  But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
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Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks,  persons, civil and public servants,  politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,
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Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass overIs 55:7 Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have love, pity, {and} mercy for him, and to our God, for He will multiply to him His abundant pardon. 8 For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, says the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.
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Is 56:10 watchmen are blind, they are all without knowledge; they are all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; dreaming, lying down, they love to slumber.
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The need to control is almost always fueled by anxiety – though control freaks seldom recognize their fears. At work, they may worry about failure. In relationships, they may worry about not having their needs met. To keep this anxiety from overwhelming them, they try to control the people or things around them. They have a hard time with negotiation and compromise and they can’t stand imperfection. Needless to say, they are difficult to live with, work with and/or socialize with.
 
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   “Those who demand the most often give the least.”  Ask them to send you something or do something for you. By asking something of them, you will be indicating that you are not intimidated or diminished by their behavior patterns. In order to not feel degraded, humiliated and have your sense of self and self worth assaulted, you need to avoid being bulldozed by a controlling lover, boss or friend. When you are caught up in a truly destructive/controlling attachment, the best response may still also still be to expose them and to call the police and also walk out.
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In generally in the more liberal freedom loving society of Canada both the wife and the children tend to have much more freedom, rights, make their own decisions,  over many other countries and as a result the culture shock is a very real problem for some new immigrant spouses where the husband was used to being obeyed, and being the sole head of the home  thus  it’s not altogether uncommon for some of the new immigrant  home situations to become  unacceptably violent.
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 IT IS NOW MORE  RARE BUT I DO ALSO NOW STILL GET BULLIED BY RELIGIOUS BULLIES,  ABUSERS TOO..   not just by the past bad cops
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The WRONGFULLY STILL Unrepentant  bully’s problem is that he or she is one of those bad persons  who only feels truly alive when voicing hostility and contempt for his “enemies.” Without that, he or she starts gasping for air. It’s his nature.. self-destructive” ..  clearly these immoral  Bully, Basher of others, Abusers of others has a disappointed, deflated ego, negative self worth,  most likely related to past unresolved guilt, as a result  of  that   the bully, he or she, tries falsely to   build  their ego up by bashing, hating others, by being an antagonists against  his proclaimed enemies, which too often also  is most people , for  he or she no longer trust anyone, and Abusers this is a common very typical approach, fact in the character build up of Bullies, Bashers, but their approach is futile, the subsequent feeling of self worth dissipates too quickly, are actually replaced by guilt,  and his ego, self worth likely needs to be recharged with new hate.. and is replaced with more and larger hatred of the others.  I have seen this type of wrong behavior not just in bad managers, bad politicians, bad persons, but  in alcoholics, and most often in Albertan rednecks ,but also  in religious   fundamentals evangelicals who promote hated towards Pentecostal Christians as well, and  now as well as the crooked pastor wrongfully  fighting for control over others. Public exposure and prosecution of these bad persons here too services everyone’s best interest.
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Here also is what I know for sure, the older the person is the more extreme, more severe, the more difficult the punishment has  to be on them to cause them to personally to change in their own  negative ways, for they are too set in them now too.
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hard to tell the difference

 Impaired


 
Reality! These days it is too hard to tell the difference between secular persons and even evangelical pastors, they seem to do the same things too.
 
What’s So Bad About a Little Suppression of Free Speech? or what about just a little bit pregnant? a little bit Corrupt too?
 
The pastors of the Toronto airport fellowship Church and many other pastors, Christians groups on the net  had asked me in writing not to write to them, and what they can preach about the sins of others but I can’t do that to them? What hypocrisy on their parts now still too.  Even in the churches, evangelical pastoral sections there are much too many really bad unacceptable apples still out there. Too often now our personal rights in this country are now slowly being forcibly demanded to be sidetracked to accommodate others wishes … Imagine what Canada would be like if any of the church pastors, government forcibly told the citizens, the columnists, editors, commentators what they could and could not publish. Imagine if we had something like a Ministry of Truth, a Ministry of the Media, a Ministry of Thought. If that doesn’t scare you then you rightfully  scare me. These bullying groups appear to be using any angle within the law, courts,  or their influence to try and become our ‘superiors’ in some way. It’s about time that truths that are unpalatable to certain sections of our society be allowed to be expressed. We live in a free country, with the right to freedom of expression and speech. Telling the facts does not constitute a ‘hate’ crime now as well. Only those people who want to curtail or own freedoms while they use theirs  would call this a hate crime. If these various groups or people cannot tolerate anyone’s free speech, or debate, why in the world are they living in the west?  If you don’t like the freedoms that are enjoyed by ALL citizens here, then go live in a country where theirs and your freedom  now is denied.  Without freedom of speech, and the freedom of the press we can no longer claim to be a democratic country. No one has the right to stifle the free dispensing of valuable information. Not even Evangelical pastors.  We must all be be vigilant against any attempts of demonic enslavement of us and the  false hindrances of our own rights.  “Those that try to silence honest, open, and free speech are a danger to this country. I hold that to be true. ”
 
In my 20 years of posting on the net in Canada the biggest immoral human rights violators, abusers have been the EVANGELICAL PASTORS, and also the Conservatives of Alberta, plus BELL SYMPATICO NOW TOO, even those persons, Corporations  who falsely clearly do not tolerate the free speech of others, their difference of views, and they as bullying ostriches next tend to lie about, banish, slander, or even delete unwanted non conforming posters who do not go along with their too often immoral, redneck views. Too many of them now are alcoholics too.
 
Why are alcoholics always in denial? and why do they often lie,  cheat, steal also now? Because if they do admit the truth they are alcoholics, sinners too  they do have now to repent of the sin of disobeying God’s word about being drunk too.. so they take the ostrich denial approach instead too often. Alcoholism still is a sin of a deliberate, personal choice, and to be set free you have to admit your sin, confess it, renounce it, ask God for forgiveness through Jesus Christ as well.. It is not only wrong for the average person it is also especially wrong for leaders in the government, politicians. It is amazing how one can quickly spot an alcoholic, while they cannot still see their sin, and how quick they are to oppose themselves being exposed now too..
 
I admit I had lost all respect for the supposedly great preacher Spurgeon who was so ready to preach to others about their sins, but he himself now could not resist  the Temptation of a cigar.  Similar we find out that other preachers could not give up smoking too.. Look at this reference in regard to AB Simpson, the past founder of the Christian Missionary Alliance denomination now too.  “The Man, the movement, and the mission-A documentary of the C&MA”  Cut directly from their national web site. It was the custom for the ministers of the district to meet together to discuss all things common. This little reunion, in its proper sequence, was held one day at the Manse. And unaccountably strange odor of tobacco smoke began to steal upstairs. Suddenly the study door flew open and a towering figure of fury – all of four feet, one inch in its stocking feet – stood at the threshold. “SMOKING! Out of this house!” said Grannie Simpson, and in a body the ministerial association moved. 
https://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=15796002&postID=3424830162204895882   http://reversion-clause.com/

The CMA is a pretentious and one of the most demonic churches I have been too made up of lying hypocrites where the professing Christians not only abuse people, poor people included, but they indulge in Alcohol too often too.. “I know that as a minister in the C&MA I am called to abstain from drinking alcoholic beverages, here at Safe Harbor there are just a few of people who voluntary give up drinking. The majority of our church drinks: beer, wine, and of course margaritas. I do not have a problem with this. Some pastors would. I can sum up my position by quoting Derek Webb, “While I do not condone drunkenness, I do condone drinking”
http://lukecamara.blogspot.com/2007/05/jesus-and-wine.html
 
and what other pastoral vices now are now being PERMITTED falsely today,  the handing out of beer, wine, alcoholic beverages, playboy, pornography, acts of cheating, lying, stealing, STEALING THE TITHES, adultery, tax evasions still?
 
Too many people  still do believe in their own sole right of free speech still but they  do next try to deny these same right of others by even threatening to sue them for libel, slander.. sound Familiar Mr Stephen Harper PM of Canada? or Bell Sympatico? or the Toronto Airport Fellowship Church pastors? Benny Hinn? etc., The Evangelical CMA Christian PM Stephen Harper should also note that the New Conservatives themselves now tend to be just as much alcoholics as the Liberals. Any false preconceived notions that they generally are not is clearly a myth .Even our professing Canadian Christian Evangelical prime Minister Stephen Harper, and others, still should  note that these are basic, ground rules in proper Bible interpretation that must be followed before anyone even attempts to fully study, apply  the Holy Scripture even related to consuming much too many Alcoholic beverages now too? He personally and falsely, undeniably  loves his alcoholic  wine, beer much too much still too? WE ALL DO NEED to have a right attitudes EVEN  all of leaders, pastors, elders too, and they have to lead by a good personal example too.
 
There are several basic, ground rules in proper Bible interpretation that must be followed by all persons now  before anyone even attempts to fully study the Holy Scripture. The first rule is pray and ask the Holy spirit to guide you, to teach you.. not rather self, mere men or women.. we all should seek first and not last the Holy Spirit for illumination. The Holy Spirit wants to share the treasures of God’s Word with those who rightfully do esteem Him. The most important principle to remember in studying God’s Word is that it can only be understood with the help of the Holy Spirit.  Those who approach the Bible without the Holy Spirit to teach them, may gain some insight into truths, their lives, but also  will receive no definite, permanent, important life-changing revelation.  Bible Commentaries should be used only very sparingly if at  all. Even the most anointed man or woman, preacher  of God clearly still can be wrong, biased, have a hidden agenda, limited, (or just shallow) in their understanding or interpretation of certain Bible topics, subjects. Do not believe any man or women, rather solely Take God’s word for it.“A scorner seeketh wisdom, and findeth it not: but knowledge is easy unto him that understandeth” (Proverbs 14:6 )
 
Genuine Born Again Evangelical Christians are total abstainers 1 Cor 6:10 Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers {and} slanderers, nor extortioners {and} robbers will inherit {or} have any share in the kingdom of God. We know that alcoholism is a terrible sin  that now damages the person’s brain, affects their ability  to work, to drive a car, and negatively affects their own behavior and affects many others too. The same reality is true of one taking now bad drugs as well. So I was also similarly shocked, surprised to discover the the falsely professing evangelical Christian Stephen Harper our Prime Minister likes to consume wine, alcohol, and he buys it for others as well. Beyond a Biblical doubt the Genuine Born Again Evangelicals are total abstainers, like me, I never drink or touch wine or alcohol, at any time, nor do I give playboy, pornography, wine or wine glasses to anyone. ““Dr. Daniel Akin, President of Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary has written an article in favor of the famous Resolution #5 (Resolution calling for total opposition to alcohol). Alcohol is the number one drug problem among teenagers. (1 Cor. 8:13; 9:19-22; 10:32-33). Because I am an example to others, I will make certain no one ever walks the road of sorrow called alcoholism because they saw me take a drink and assumed, “if it is alright for him it is alright for me.” No, I will choose to set an uncompromising example of abstinence because I love them.  I will seek my joy and filling in the Spirit not in alcohol. I love the Phillips translation of Ephesians 5:18 which reads, “Don’t get your stimulus from wine (for there is always the danger of excessive drinking), but let the Spirit stimulate your souls.” Psalm 4:7-8 adds, “You [O Lord] have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.”  There is no record that Jesus drank strong drink,  As a pastor or church leader, would I demand abstinence for  leadership? Absolutely! The principle of Proverbs 31:4-5 is appropriately applied here, “It is not for Kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to take strong drink, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed and pervert the rights of all the afflicted.” “
 
PM Stephen Harper the pretender evangelical as well.. is not the first time he wrongfully  gave alcoholic beverages to others, and what next?
(1 Cor 11:28 KJV)  But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup. 29  For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body. 30   For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep. 31  For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
(Prov 3:33 KJV)  The curse of the LORD is in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just.
Clearly do note this also..  1 Cor 6:10 Nor cheats (swindlers and thieves), nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers {and} slanderers, nor extortioners {and} robbers will inherit {or} have any share in the kingdom of God.
Jesus himself had said that professing to be a Christian is not enough, and it applies now to a PM as well, one rather can  tell what a person is really like by what he does,  a True Christian is one who evidently is controlled by the Spirit of God and not by  self, sin, a real Christian is one where thus anyone can clearly see by the evidence of the fruit of the Holy Spirit, including even self control.
Matt 3:8 Bring forth fruit that is consistent with repentance [let your lives prove your change of heart];
Gal 5:23 Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].
Matt 7:16 You will fully recognize them by their fruits. Do people pick grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles?17 Even so, every healthy (sound) tree bears good fruit [worthy of admiration], but the sickly (decaying, worthless) tree bears bad (worthless) fruit. 18 A good (healthy) tree cannot bear bad (worthless) fruit, nor can a bad (diseased) tree bear excellent fruit [worthy of admiration].  19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire. 20 Therefore, you will fully know them by their fruits.
1 Tim 3:2 Now a bishop (superintendent, overseer) must give no grounds for accusation {but} must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, circumspect {and} temperate {and} self-controlled; [he must be] sensible {and} well behaved {and} dignified and lead an orderly (disciplined) life; [he must be] hospitable [showing love for and being a friend to the believers, especially strangers or foreigners, and be] a capable {and} qualified teacher,
Alcoholics, wine drinkers, smokers, drug users too they all  tend to have evidentially lost their self control..
I have often rightfully said to many preachers I would rather see them first by example live the life of Christ instead of merely preaching it others.  Preaching the Gospel is not an valid alternative to living it.  I even do know People who profess to be Christians and they are Alcoholics too.. but they are not Christians… They fool themselves only as to who they still really are too.

By their own fruits Jesus said to us all you can tell what they are really like still.
..(Prov 16:25 KJV)  There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death.
(Mat 7:20 KJV)  Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them. 21  Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. 22  Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? 23  And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity. 24  Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: 25  And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. 26  And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
 
If you took 2 martinis or 2 beers a day you are an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a crime and not a disease, it is a crime, it is just as lethal, bad, and it is really unacceptable as selling or taking bad drugs too. Canada’s  bad drug problem, drunk driving, alcoholism is increasing not just amongst the teens, but also in the work place, in the government now as well even amongst the civil and public servants. Most major home violence, car or truck accidents are still associated with alcohol now too and not speeding. It’s a fact that  drinking alcohol can seriously damage one’s health and cause permanent brain damage as well .Alcohol may lead to liver problems, a variety of cancers as well as forms of osteoporosis and depression, and studies are showing, too, that women are more susceptible to the ill effects of alcohol than are men.  
 
Not one cent of taxpayer’s money should be ever used in the governments, civil  and public servants, expense accounts  to buy alcohol, wine  or beer.
 
 > I did not know that smoking is a sin?
Impaired means  when Mental awareness, alertness and function do also come under a dulling, slowing effect. This hinders our mental ability in everyday activity and restricts or cuts off our mental fellowship with the Holy Spirit speaking to our mind from our spirit. A person who has the smoking or drinking habit, in honesty, must label themselves an “addict” too. in bondage to Satan and the flesh and the lust thereof. Alcoholism, Smoking, lying, stealing, slander  is demonic, which is why it is so hard to stop on your own and they all are  not compatible with the Christian experience.  These sinful  problems are next forcing negative consequences on other “innocent” people  Co-workers, family and even  children are victims .  Christians are definitely thus not to be “stumbling blocks” to others.  Matthew 18: 6, 7, “But who so shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depths of the sea. Woe unto the world because of offenses! For it must needs be that offenses come; but woe to that man by whom the offense cometh!”
 
Also smoking is “burning incense to other (demon) gods”. II Kings 22:17, II Kings 23:5; II Chronicles 28:25, 34:24, 34:25; Jeremiah 1:16, 7:9, 11:12, 19:4; Chapter 44, 48:35.
 
To receive complete freedom from these sinful  bondages, the Believer must see his “habit” or being “hooked” as a spiritually rooted problem and confess it as a deliberate sin of Disobedience to God too. Acknowledging lust, Alcohol, tobacco, cigarettes, drugs, lying, stealing, marijuana  and smoking as sin is prerequisite. Personal Confession of the sin according to (1 John 1:9 KJV)  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10   If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.and we all must choose to submit to God according to (James 4:7 KJV)  Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8  Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 9  Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10   Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up. 
next , places the Believer on proper ground for the unclean spirits to be cast out of them 
 
and whether Smoking it is legal or not legal basically is not the issue in the sight of God.. but when you clearly have lost self control,  it also alters your judgment and your ability to perceive reality. on top of that you now are a prisoner to a bad habit of smoking , the very clear source of the bad habit is the devil now as well and not God.. and if you cannot see this it is either cause you do not want to or are in false denial… Half of the world knows that smoking cigarettes even is bad for you, it is a vice, and  it causes cancer, linked to gum disease, destroys the body and you did not realize it was sinful? either you are lying to me, lying yourself others or you are being deliberate ignorant. Smoking is not without potential real negative consequences and yes anyone would be an absolute fool not to factor that truth now as well . One cannot honestly claim to be using alcohol, smoking or marijuana for any purpose other than to falsely intoxicate oneself. to lose self control. One is not getting you closer to God by being intoxicated , but moving you away from Him. You’re doing the weed for YOURSELF, serving the sinful sinful self, the flesh now in reality. You are to die to self, the flesh and all of it’s lust thereof  as a Christian now still too. The ends do not justify now the mans still as well.
 
 1 Corinthians  10:31 (King James Version)   Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
 
1 Corinthians 3:16-17 (King James Version) 16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? 17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
 
Christians are always to remain SOBER too. 1 Thessalonians 5:8 (King James Version) 8 But let us, who are of the day, be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love; and for an helmet, the hope of salvation.
Sober, obedient and not given to lusts of the flesh. 1 Peter 1:13-14 (King James Version)  13 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; 14 As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
 
Ephesians 5:11-21 (King James Version) 11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them  12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. 13 But all things that are reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is light. 14 Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light. 15 See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16 Redeeming the time, because the days are evil. 17 Wherefore be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit 19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms