Estrangement

SEA (2)

MANY PEOPLE MAKE IDOLS OF THEIR FAMILY.

Funny how so many persons want others to be prefect, when nobody is, especially them.

The phrase “family ” has become shorthand for a focus on a married-couple family with children. The high rate of divorces these days defies the deeply held notion that family relationships can’t be dissolved and suggest that estrangement is not all that uncommon. Assuming that every relationship between a parent and child will last a lifetime is as simplistic as assuming every couple will never split up. Anyway our first priority is to love God

TOO MANY PERSONS AS WELL ARE LOVING, KIND TO FAMILY MEMBERS ONLY DURING THE HOLIDAYS, SUCH AS THANKSGIVING, CHRISTMAS.. It’s the classic image of the holidays: Parents, siblings and their children gather around the family table to feast and catch up on one another’s lives. But it doesn’t always exist that way.

It is also a Myth is that Estrangement Happens Suddenly. It’s usually a long, drawn-out process rather than a single blowout. The relationship tends to erode over time, not overnight. The estrangement tend to occur across years and decades. Many relationships are based on myths, our false expectations from the relationship.

” Some adults choose to stop talking to their parents or returning home for family gatherings. Parents, In laws may disapprove of a person so intensely that he or she is no longer welcome home. All the hurt and betrayals, all the things that accumulate, undermine a person’s sense of original trust so even some spouses choose to stop talking to their partners. Family Estrangement, rupture has become too common.

Estrangement can be defined as one or more relatives intentionally choosing to end contact with another because of an ongoing negative relationship, even a conflict of interests. Often achieving this new distance is hard, but maintaining distance is harder. Some adult children no longer made an effort to fulfill expectations of the daughter-son role, such as the person who after some years with no contact with a father, declined to visit him in the hospital or to attend his funeral. Still others chose to limit conversations with a family member to superficial small talk or reduce the amount of contact. In our culture, there’s a ton of guilt caused by not forgiving your family member, others.

In a survey 8 percent of adults said that they had cut off a family member. And 19 percent of respondents reported that another relative or they themselves were no longer in contact with family. Multiple factors appear to come into play.

The reasons for the rupture fell into different categories. Difference in religious views may cause a religious persecution, rejections or even serious differences in personal goals. A the son or daughter may chose between the spouse and a parent or someone else. Or the adult child was punishing the parent for “perceived wrongdoing” not just a difference in values. Or even additional ongoing stressors like domestic violence, divorce, unemployment, betrayal (keeping secrets or sabotaging them), poor parenting or failing health, symbols of “cumulative disrespect”.

Many family estrangements followed childhoods in which they had already had poor connections with parents who were physically or emotionally unavailable.

Politicians help also to dissolve the family. A politician has one major goal: to get elected and stay elected. Ergo, many politicians appeal to the emotions and ethical choices of mainstream values. The conflict here is between those who are for or against families, or even “family values,”

The too common abusive silent treatment is a common result of an estrangement. This is a clear attempt at ignoring you, even for days or weeks and is a sign of a mental abuse, bullying. This type of response is a common and immoral act by selfish, spoiled, self centered persons. Anything that they now next can do to upset you, to get you guessing about why too, or to make you think that you have done something wrong, have them is their basic approach, motive. We tend talk to those people we love, and reject, ignore, divorce those people we hate. No question about it.

The silent treatment is a definite, bullying, abusive, calculated form of power control over others and also a pre calculated mind game that the abuser falsely plays on their victims .

The WRONGFULLY STILL Unrepentant bully’s problem is that he or she is one of those bad persons who only feels truly alive when voicing hostility and contempt for his “enemies.” Without that, he or she starts gasping for air. It’s his nature.. self-destructive” .. So clearly these immoral Bully, Basher of others, Abusers of others have a disappointed, deflated ego, negative self worth, most likely related to past personal unresolved guilt, as a result of that the bully, he or she, tries falsely to build their ego up by bashing, hating others, by being an antagonists against his proclaimed enemies, which too often also is most of the people now , for he or she no longer trust anyone.

Abuse is a common very typical approach, fact in the character build up of Bullies, Bashers, but their approach is futile, the subsequent feeling of self worth dissipates too quickly, are actually replaced by guilt, and his ego, self worth likely needs to be recharged with new hate.. and is replaced with more and larger hatred of the others. Persons who use this approach tend to escalate next to other forms of abuses also to get their way. I have seen this type of wrong behavior too often. These bad people do need to find a better way for their anger management.

John 13: 34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. 35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.

The Verbal abuse is a also a kind of battering which doesn’t leave evidence like physical abuse does. However, it can be just as painful, and recovery can take much longer. The victim of abuse lives in a gradually more confusing realm. In public she is with one man, in private he becomes another. Often, for the verbally abused woman (man), there is no witness to her reality and no one to understand her experiences. Friends and family continue to see her ex, the abuser, as a really good guy and, certainly, he agrees with them. The verbal abuser, while maintaining his charm with others, always takes his abuse behind closed doors. It is a means of holding power over his wife( husband) /partner.. Many women and some men leave a marriage and come back into the singles’ world with the diminished self-esteem that comes from a verbally abusive relationship. The fact that many of these women (men) have never even realized that they were being abused, makes it easy for them to enter another abusive relationship.

A verbal abuser is an insecure person and immature person who is looking for power and control over another.In order to help you recognize abuse, remember that all forms of verbal abuse are methods of manipulating you for the purpose of establishing power over you.

I know that this forced submission emphasis, demands are a false attempts by these overly perverse, ambitious, crooked persons, bad pastors, unfaithful spouses, bad relatives, and bad religious persons now included too, for these persons and mere persons who do want now by such means to attempt to self prosper, to grow richer, to advance themselves over others still have have no good concerns for me. They are slave drivers. Slavery was abolished a long time ago too.

The following are some of the forms of verbal abuse you CAN recognize.

Withholding: a purposeful, silent treatment.

Countering: a countering of your ideas, feelings, and perceptions, even going so far as to refute what he misconstrues you to have said.

Discounting–a putdown of you or something you hold dear.

Blocking and diverting–this is a sneaky, covert way of violating your dignity.

Accusation and blame: generally involves lies about the partner’s intentions, attitudes, and motives. The author states that accusation and blame is present in all verbally abusive relationships.

Judging and criticizing: lies about your personal qualities and performance.

Trivializing and undermining: abusive behavior which makes light of your work, your efforts, your interests, or your concerns. The abuser attempts to dilute meaning and value in your life. Undermining might occur when your partner laughs at you, for example, when you burn yourself cooking. It is also jokes at your expense. Undermining is occurring when you feel a “so-called joke” is mean rather than funny.

Name calling: no one has a right to call you degrading names. Name calling is verbal abuse.

Ordering: Telling you to do something, rather than asking, or making decisions for you or for the two of you without your input.

Forgetting and denial: the trickiest form of denial is forgetting. Become aware that forgetting is a form of denial that shifts all responsibility from the abuser to some “weakness of mind.”

Abusive anger: this seems to be closely linked to the need to “blow up,” to dominate, to control, to go one up, and to put down. Any time you are snapped at or yelled at, you are being abused.

Threatening: Physical threats and sexual threats aside, verbal threats are an effort at manipulation. For example, a threat to leave, stay out all night, or take you home immediately is a manipulation for power. The threat of “pending disaster” is designed to shatter the partner’s serenity as well as her boundaries.

If you counter the abuser or attempt to explain yourself, you will probably be met with such statements as, “I don’t want to hear it, get out of my face” or “Woman you don’t have the brains“, “B” You shouldn’t have said that to me“.

Beware always of men and women, bullies, tormentors, control freaks, persons, civil and public servants, politicians, pastors, leaders, elders, who falsely do, will try to enslave you, oppress you, exploit you even while they claim they are proclaiming the truth, democracy, trying to help you, etc.,

Is 51:23 ..your tormentors {and} oppressors, those who said to you, Bow down, that we may ride {or} tread over you; and you have made your back like the ground and like the street for them to pass over.

God himself accepts no abuses by anyone, not even by pastors…

(Jer 9:5 KJV) And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity. 6 Thine habitation is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know me, saith the LORD.

(Jer 9:8 KJV) Their tongue is as an arrow shot out; it speaketh deceit: one speaketh peaceably to his neighbour with his mouth, but in heart he layeth his wait.

(James 4:7 KJV) Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

Any person cannot still fight with you of you leave his or her presences, even forever.. and there is still a good life after a failed marriage now too.

Matthew 18:15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.

Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.

THERE IS A VERY BASIC COMMON MISCONCEPTION ON HOW TO DEAL WITH ANY PERCEIVED EVEN INJUSTICES, ABUSES, ANYWHERE, IN THE CHURCH AS WELL, BESIDES IMMEDIATELY CALLING THE LOCAL POLICE.. being quiet is not good enough,

THE NEW TESTAMENT IS CLEAR HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.. COMMUNICATION – AND YOU DON’T EVEN FIRST POST IT ALL ON THE NET.

First you merely ask the guilty, bad persons personally to repent twice, the first time without a witness, the second time with witnesses THAT you have asked them to repent.. and proof, substantiation is NOT required.. after you have done that you can next post it openly on the net, tell all the others. Next God is fully free to deal with the unrepentant guilty offenders and believe me he will.. I have now been doing so for decades too..

I OFTEN SIMPLY SEND AN EMAIL, I PUT IT INTO CLEARLY WRITING, SO THE GUILTY PARTY CANNOT SAY I DID NOT ASK HIM OR HER TO REPENT. WHETHER THEY ACKNOWLEDGE IT OR NOT TO GOD DOES NOT MATTER.

It is absurd for any person to even imply there is no sin, or that God now, next punishes no one here on earth, or after for any of their sins, or to say that that they the sinners are merely punishing themselves, God does have higher laws too, the laws he has designed with negative consequences for their violations undeniably as well. The negative Consequences are not by chance, or unrelated to God. Even the new Testament still says people reap here on earth what they have sowed and God punishes people for their unrepentant sins. (Gal 6:7 KJV) Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. 8 ) For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.

Jer 17:5 Thus says the Lord: Cursed [with great evil] is the strong man who trusts in {and} relies on frail man, making weak [human] flesh his arm, and whose mind {and} heart turn aside from the Lord. 6 For he shall be like a shrub {or} a person naked and destitute in the desert; and he shall not see any good come, but shall dwell in the parched places in the wilderness, in an uninhabited salt land. 7 [Most] blessed is the man who believes in, trusts in, {and} relies on the Lord, and whose hope {and} confidence the Lord is. 8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters that spreads out its roots by the river; and it shall not see {and} fear when heat comes; but its leaf shall be green. It shall not be anxious {and} full of care in the year of drought, nor shall it cease yielding fruit. 9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and it is exceedingly perverse {and} corrupt and severely, mortally sick! Who can know it [perceive, understand, be acquainted with his own heart and mind]?

Jer 17:10 I the Lord search the mind, I try the heart, even to give to every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.

Anyone doubt this, look at God’s Punishment of the Apostle Paul specially for his past abuse of the Christians now too. I know from observing others that one’s abusing a Christian can lead to one’s early death. I have found the best way not to get abused anymore is to rightfully not to associate with the abuser anymore, after exposing their abuse to them and others, till they really do repent of it, and a clearly Biblical approach according to the Bible Book of Corinthians now too.

I put my trust in God and not in man.. We submit ourselves solely to God, to Jesus and the Holy Spirit.. who guides us, leads us into all truth. All friendship, relationship, submission not just in marriages in real life now too is reciprocal, and unenforced. Jesus Christ is still the head of the Church, Churches!

Let me be very clear about that Jesus has set me free, now I am a slave to no man but to Jesus Christ himself, alone. I serve no man, especially any of the clearly foolish, perverted ones, and I take orders from no man, I do not have to do what they desire or try to command me to do at any time too. No matter if they still do wrongfully think otherwise too. I am still only God’s slave and not any man’s.
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Is 2:22 Cease to trust in [weak, frail, and dying] man, whose breath is in his nostrils [for so short a time]; in what sense can he be counted as having intrinsic worth?

(Eccl 7:9 KJV) Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
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(Jonah 4:4 KJV) Then said the LORD, Doest thou well to be angry?
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(Eph 4:26 KJV) Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
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(Mal 2:16 KJV) For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.

(1 John 2:11 KJV) But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.
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(1 John 3:15 KJV) Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer: and ye know that no murderer hath eternal life abiding in him.
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Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name’s sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.

Matthew 24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name’s sake.

John 15:18 If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.

24 If I had not done among them the works which none other man did, they had not had sin: but now have they both seen and hated both me and my Father.

25 But this cometh to pass, that the word might be fulfilled that is written in their law, They hated me without a cause.

John 17:14 I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.

“Honor your father and mother,” Christ commands, and “love” your neighbor. But leave your parents, siblings and spouse to follow me – even if you must “hate” them in order to DO SO. Do not even stop, Jesus tells one follower, to bury your own father.

In one scene recounted in the gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke, Jesus denies that members of his own immediate family deserve a special audience with him, declaring that his real family is the community of believers.

Psalms 70: 2 Let them be ashamed and confounded that seek after my soul: let them be turned backward, and put to confusion, that desire my hurt.

Hebrews 1:9 Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.

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thenonconformer

I am a Canadian, retired and I do have an Engineering degree, from Concordia University , Montreal 1968, plus I had also now worked as a Re/Max Realtor in Calgary too. I follow Jesus, as per Matthew 2:37 The Old covenant from God is only to the Jews, Israel. Now I am very heatedly involved in both Christianity and politics as well and I am very popular for my Graphic sites. I have Pastored a Church or a few years and have dealt with many many politicians. I am a moderator on two Donald trump political sites on Google+ : Liberty Price, and PRESIDENT TRUMP My own most Popular face book sites are https://www.facebook.com/Christian.Graphics.Free.Pictures.Posters/ https://www.facebook.com/The-lies-of-the-false-Christian-Zionism-Movement-166907416793938/ https://www.facebook.com/His.Christian.Ministry/ My own most Popular wordpress sites are https://thenonconformer.wordpress.com/ Canadian Politics https://musttrustobey.wordpress.com/ American Politics https://postedat.wordpress.com/ Christian Topics https://dispensatiionalism.wordpress.com/ https://asposed.wordpress.com/ About the Messianic Jews https://stayinhealth.wordpress.com/ https://putin1hero.wordpress.com/ https://freechristianwallpapersposters.wordpress.com/ https://jesussayscome.wordpress.com/2018/09/02/links-free-scenic-wallpapers-with-bible-verses-bibles-christian-writings-ebooks/ https://cityocean.wordpress.com/ Ocean City, New Jersey USA https://nclgetaways.wordpress.com/2015/12/09/ caribbean-cruise Google Plus https://plus.google.com/104514506324197617910 I am also a Conversation starter, 1/ 45 most popular posters the last month President Donald J. Trump Supporters Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1187047314639471

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