Many people claim the title of Christian without actually believing anything related to Jesus, the New Testament. The world may tell us that sexual purity doesn’t matter, but God does care about it. The Bible speaks a lot on this subject, such as in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. The Bible calls us to reject the world’s approach to love and marriage.
Biblically speaking, lust is always presented as something negative. Lust is about desiring something that is not yours to have. Lust is unhealthy desire. Lust is destructive because acting on it always means violating God’s laws and other peoples rights. In the end, lust leads to our destruction.
Proverbs tells us that, “The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the treacherous are taken captive by their lust.” And Jesus said that to look at a woman lustfully is to commit adultery with her. Because lust is always negative, we need to learn to distinguish it from those desires that are appropriate and healthy. It is right for a husband and wife to desire one another sexually, but it is wrong to have this desire towards someone you are not married to. You are not entitled to the body of your boy/girlfriend until you have come into the covenant relationship of a sole marriage . Lust it is wrong also when these desires get distorted – when our desire for food becomes gluttony, or our desire for drink drunkenness, or our desire for sleep laziness.
The search for “the one” is often an idolatrous pursuit. If you are looking for someone else to complete you, to fill your life, to be the source of your contentedness, then you will be searching in vain your whole life. And you are placing an unreasonable expectation upon everyone with whom you develop a serious marriage. The “one-flesh” pronouncement by God in the garden of Eden gets lost in the mire of lust and violence. The Bible gives us a great definition and much advice regarding “Love”, There is no reference at all to a “soul mate”. The New Testament sees the woman-as-companion. God never instructs us to seek out a mate.
The most accurate definition of true love is found in John 15:13 ‘Husbands, love your wives’ (Ephesians 5:25) and ‘Husbands … be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect’ (1 Peter 3:7). Mark 10:11-12 tells us who is Biblically eligible for marriage. The book of Proverbs, a wealth of relationship knowledge, has us looking for responsible mates, and ones who know how to handle their money in 31:16. 31:30 informs us that godliness is superior to beauty or a handsome face. 17:19 tells us to shy away from those who quarrel, and 12:18 has us avoiding those with sharp tongues. Finally, 31:10-31 directs us toward the virtuous, for they their price is “far above rubies”.
Society has romanticized the notion of finding your soul mate. Too many people deduce that they didn’t find their “soul mate” after all. So they seek excitement or solace in the arms of someone else, or they part ways and are once again involved in the quest to fulfill their fantasy of finding the one and only person on this entire planet, who will make them happy . Love is not an emotion; it’s a policy and a commitment that we choose to keep. The ancient world eben on Jesus’s day had a very distorted view of women, sex, and marriage. Prostitution was an essential part of Greek life. The Roman and Jewish ethics were no better. Judaism reverenced neither women nor marriage.
The lie that many are propagating, is that if you do the “right” things, or go to the “right” websites, and/pr believe the “right” verses, God will bring you your match.. no guarantees here.
Maybe you are young and impulsive. It may be those parts of oyur brains that are good at caution haven’t s been switched on yet. Or, in contrast, you may feel those parts keep setting off false alarms so often that you want to take the batteries out. Worse, you go looking for love in a world that is not just imperfect but actually broken, a place in part of selfishness, greed and betrayal. Worse above all still, some of the world’s evil comes out of our own hearts and spills into our relationships.
Always check if the person is a believer who fears God (Proverbs 31:30) and who is biblically eligible for marriage (Mark 10:11-12)? Do they live an upright life? (Proverbs 13:6, 20; 25:28) Are they peaceful, or quarrelsome? (Proverbs 17:19; 29:8) Is this person a hard worker? (Proverbs 13:4; 26:13-15) mpt lazt, not one with unrealistic, false expecations. When you have doubts, face them, don’t bury them.
Do not talk to your pastor and people you respect for their counsel. talk to God instead.God will lead us toward someone, and help us make a wise choice when we seek him in prayer. Seek God and not merely as a way to satisfy your own selfishness. “Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness…” Matthew 6:33, a Christian should not consider any marital union that would not feed this primary relationship with God. You’ll bring great misery into your life if you ignore this God’s help, advice. There are so many hidden land mines in deciding to marry someone such as do you really know well the other persons, or are they lying to you to make a good impression which too often happens.
Every marriage, even the happiest, and some are very happy, sits somewhere on a scale of imperfection. Marriage is incredibly hard work. Wives are called to submit to, respect, and serve their husbands.
The real danger for God’s people in pursuing a spouse is that we will “settle” for the world’s vision of self, love, marriage and even romance, rather than a vision of those things steeped in scripture and rooted in the love of Christ. Biblical love and marriage ask more of us than the world’s selfish pursuit of non-existent perfection. It is very possible to marry the wrong person.
For one thing, believers are commanded to not marry outside of the faith…that is they should not marry an unbeliever because God has said that we are not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6). Many have never followed this godly advice and have ended up in a marriage that God never intended for them to be in and heartaches, divorce that resulted. Christian are commanded to stay in the marriage until death do they part for we know that God hates divorce (Mal 2:16; Mark 10:7-9).
Genesis 2:20-25 “But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, ‘This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
15 Drink water from your own cistern, And fresh water from your own well. 16 Should your springs be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be yours alone, And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love (Proverbs 5:15-19).
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe that God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” ~ Colossians 3:14